Comments : Dangerous Truth

  • 15 years ago

    by Coldstone

    Great poem!...ur first stanza is awesome! Good job!

  • 15 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Great write, the flow was good as well as the structure. However, I must say that I don't like the repetition of the word, "truth" Also it felt as though your rhymes were forced at some points through out, perhaps trying free verse would help you come out of that box?

    I also noticed that in this poem you don't use puncuation through out. Using puncuation will not only help the reader to know when to pause or stop. I can't stress it enough, puncuation is a big part of making it flow better as well the overall structure (which in your case is good except for the fact you have no puncuation)

    ``````````

    Some people cannot face truth
    And there lies the danger
    Rather than walk with truth
    They walk with a stranger

    ^^I think this was a nice opening to your poem. Made me want to read more and see what the rest was about.

    ``````````

    The truth causes so much pain
    Some prefer to numb their brain
    Treading the wilderness on their own
    Going though the strife of life all alone

    ^^I must say this stanza hits home to many people. I can relate to this as many others can as well I would assume. Great middle to the poem that carries it to the last stanza.

    ``````````

    Yet it is the truth that sets us free
    The guiding light for you and me
    I look to the Light to silently pray
    Let us not in evil darkness stray

    ^^Beautiful ending to this poem. The flow was good, and your choice of words was so simple and free. Great Job!!!

    ``````````

    Wonderful write, keep up the great work.

    Peace, Joe

  • Its great poem!!!!
    it has a really good ending..its beautiful....the flow is great and it's well written!!

    well done

    xoxo

  • 15 years ago

    by Bradley Peter

    A really good piece. So much, in fact, that I've added it to my favorites. Great flow, in particularly. I loved it. One tiny thing, though - in the last line of the second stanza, I think you should cut out the 'all', because I just think it would flow better without it, but hey, you don't have to listen to me.

    Brad