Comments : Frozen

  • 9 years ago

    by XxBR0K3NxX

    Love is only a fairytale,
    That rips your soul apart.

    THiiS PART WAS MY FAVORiiTE!
    THiiS POEM WAS VERY WELL WRiiTTEN.
    ii ABSOLUTELY LOVED iiT! KEEP iiT UP!
    <3 SKYE.

  • 9 years ago

    by EssenceOfLace

    CAYCE!!! I HEART YOU!!! I guess I'll just judge this as if it was any other poem, and not for my contest.

    "Crystallized candy surrenders to the ground.
    Wrought from the very essence of malice."

    ^^That first line made me think of rock candy. lol It actually did draw me in. But shouldn't the second line be a continuation of the first? I dunno, that's how I read it, as one sentence, and not two.

    "Sway to this glacial melody,
    With your lips made of frost.
    Sing gently, this frigid song,
    And your words will be lost."

    ^^OOOOH I loved this. It's a very captivating stanza, and it's kind of seductive. But I don't think the first words in the second and last line should be capitalized, since they aren't the beginning of sentences.

    "Icicles are falling, piercing my fragile skin.
    Blue liquid seeps out, to taint the snow."

    ^^Those really go with the title. They were really pretty. =)

    "Bleeding Blizzard blood,
    Still dancing to this song.
    Head swarming with lies,
    Of a love that was wrong."

    ^^one question, why is "Blizzard" capitalized???

    "Seduced by moonlight, on a wintry day.
    Leaden steps fall from feet that have wept."

    ^^A little confused. Feet weep? lol

    "Fall into the frosty ocean,
    Let the ice hold your heart.
    Love is only a fairytale,
    That rips your soul apart."

    ^^GAH! I LOVED THE ENDING! Seriously. It was perfect.

    PFFT. Writers block, chya right! You managed to push a piece out of your mind, that was positively amazing. Thank you for making my decision for winners even more difficult!

    ~Lace =)
    5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by Indian Comma Bean

    Very well done cayce for having writers block I'd say it's written fantasticly;

    Crystallized candy surrenders to the ground.
    Wrought from the very essence of malice.

    ~~~
    Very unique entry to this poem draws the reader in with unique vocaublary and imagery and holds on.
    ~~~

    Sway to this glacial melody,
    With your lips made of frost.
    Sing gently, this frigid song,
    And your words will be lost.

    ~~~
    I loved the overall feeling of this stanza very relaxed and flows beautifully
    ~~~

    Icicles are falling, piercing my fragile skin.
    Blue liquid seeps out, to taint the snow.

    ~~~
    Great imagery in these lines, makes a good connection to the tittle and to the rest of the piece
    ~~~

    Bleeding Blizzard blood,
    Still dancing to this song.
    Head swarming with lies,
    Of a love that was wrong.

    ~~~
    Oooh very nice indeed, good emotions behind this stanza which truly shows the feeling behind this piece
    ~~~

    Seduced by moonlight, on a wintry day.
    Leaden steps fall from feet that have wept.

    ~~~
    These lines confused me a little bit, feet that wept kind of made me think, sore feet? and I'm not sure but isn't it wintery? I could be wrong but that's what I thought it was
    ~~~

    Fall into the frosty ocean,
    Let the ice hold your heart.
    Love is only a fairytale,
    That rips your soul apart.

    ~~~
    Best part of the poem In my opinion, really puts a deep impression on the reader and I know I read it more than twice
    ~~~

    Overall a fantastic write with great rhythm and flow, excellent word choice and deserves nothing less than a 5/5. You're a great writer to write this with writer's block =)

  • 9 years ago

    by Bob

    Very good. I liked it a lot. Keep it up.

  • 9 years ago

    by xXx Allison xXx

    I thought this was an absolutely amazing poem, much better than the junk that comes out when i need a vent.

    Unlike some of the other comments, I found this poem to be almost cold, like winter, and murderous, if you know what I mean. I can almost feel the frozen limbs reaching out to draw me in.

    I also found some phrases that didn't exactly make sense, but I am a person that loves the abstract take on life, and I appreciated the "abnormality" in the odd word choice. I am sure that there is a reason behind those "odd" phrases.

    Also, I appreciated this form of expression because it mirrors a thought of my own. Only I am very happy I did not attempt to put it into poem form, because it would have been seriously showed up by your work of art.

    And if this is writer's block, I would really and seriously like to see something that you wrote when you didn't have writer's block. This is amazing...I have no idea what could be better!

  • 9 years ago

    by MikaMad15

    Its Really Good & Imaginative =]

  • 9 years ago

    by noha

    Nice work cayce, creative way, and its good to try everything,and you did a great jop and flow was good,and when i read it i see flash pictures ,its realy good 5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by UnToLd TrUtH

    This is really good. I really liked this stanza "Sway to this glacial melody,
    With your lips made of frost.
    Sing gently, this frigid song,
    And your words will be lost."
    It took my breath away. 5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by Brandon Frase

    Very impressive

  • 9 years ago

    by TotaMariee

    You sure about th writers block!
    that was amazing!
    Definatly the best poem i've read in a long time!
    i will definatly be reading more of your work!
    5/5!
    keep up the excellent work
    much love xx

  • 9 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    - Crystallized candy surrenders to the ground.
    Wrought from the very essence of malice.-
    ^^^
    Intriguing, powerful and captivating- evrything that defines good opening for a poem. I like your choice of words and the imagery portrayed within these lines. Great start, it truly made me want to read more.

    - Sway to this glacial melody,
    With your lips made of frost.
    Sing gently, this frigid song,
    And your words will be lost.-
    ^^
    Honestly, I don't like frost/lost rhyme too much, but other than that, this represents nice continuation of the poem. The atmosphere that you created is memorable, highlighted with all those descriptions that really made me feel the coldness that you described. All in all, very effective.

    - Icicles are falling, piercing my fragile skin.
    Blue liquid seeps out, to taint the snow.-
    ^^^
    I love this. Amazingly written and stunningly vivid.

    - Bleeding Blizzard blood,
    Still dancing to this song.
    Head swarming with lies,
    Of a love that was wrong.-
    ^^^
    First line of this stanza left me in awe. Brilliant, brilliant and again, brilliant. Rhymes threw me off again, but that is just my personal taste so you really don't have to consider it.

    - Seduced by moonlight, on a wintry day.
    Leaden steps fall from feet that have wept.-
    ^^^
    I think that you should put comma instead of a full stop at the end of the first line.
    Great lines, simpler than the rest of the poem but still fantastic.

    - Fall into the frosty ocean,
    Let the ice hold your heart.
    Love is only a fairytale,
    That rips your soul apart.-
    ^^^
    I like the ending a lot, it holds deep message and it rounds up whole poem nicely.

    All in all, I could clearly envision whole poem which was fantastic. This is one of my favorite pieces from you, it is excellently written, very creative and powerful. If you wrote this with a writers block than you can do anything lol

    5/5 from me

  • 9 years ago

    by zenith66

    This is just my kind of poem, i was there feeling cold, being seduced and bleeding blizzard blood, really puts you in the monent, i thought your word usage was fantastic, some really great descriptions throughout, ill be reviewong more thourogly soon as i get a few pieces of my own up, this is my first read here and it gives me high hopes!!

    well done!!

  • 9 years ago

    by BeautifulDisaster

    This poem is gorgeous. I love how it sounds to read out-loud. The word choice is just amazing :D

  • 9 years ago

    by Shadeflower

    I really love this poem. Wish I could write like this.
    Specially love the end of it:

    Fall into the frosty ocean,
    Let the ice hold your heart.
    Love is only a fairytale,
    That rips your soul apart.

    This just hits straight into ones mind.
    Thanks for amazing reading!

  • 9 years ago

    by Monica93

    Wow Cacye my lil freaky girl!!! i loved it... it had an amazing flow and it gave me shivers!!! 5/5 hun!!!!

  • Love the poem! Thanks for sharing!

  • I really love this poem. It is very well written and has a smooth flow. The symbolism you used was amazing...it was if i could actually feel the cold emotions chilling the heart of the narrator. I think the form you wrote the poem in added to the overall dramatic feel. I can't find anything wrong with it even though i tried. I'm adding it to my favorites. :)

  • 8 years ago

    by PoetryKnight

    Love the last line. How love is only a fairy tale. sweetacular! a 5/5 indeed.