Comments : Fool's Gold

  • 15 years ago

    by Lu

    One day at a time she'll take what life brings
    Absence of things she considers fools gold
    More precious is life when she had it to hold
    Still they stare in amazement and never ask why
    As though she's contagious they just pass her by
    ^^^
    Kay these ending lines strike the heart so.

    I love the emotion you have put into this piece and to "me" this write is very worthy of the front pages. Though I know it will be rejected because the 6 months has not passed .... I am nominating it anyway because it touched the hearts in so many ways.

    I also loved the rhyme scheme and flow of the poem .... I have re-read it quite a few times and love it more and more each time.

    In my opinion this is an excellent read and you have done an excellent job with your chosen title.

    Luanne

  • 15 years ago

    by Ingrid

    Kay,

    What a story! It rhymed so well and it was also such a pleasure to read:)

    Hugs,

    Ingrid

  • 15 years ago

    by Trying to hold on

    This is very sad and awfully horrible, very sad but reality is it does happen.
    Was this non-fiction?
    Anyway you have used great layout in this form, fantastic imagery was like it was literally visible and each moment was narrated just flowing perfectly.
    Truly exceptional, 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by debbylyn

    Kay this is a winner for sure.....I love the story and emotions. How often we overlook that homeless person without a thought to the circunstances that brought them to that point. The rhyming and flow are good...a little off in a few places, but it doesn't detract from the great word choices and the overall feelings invoked upon reading!

    "A Gideons bible holds precious mementos
    Pressed 'tween pages, one single red rose
    A few photographs and a "Footprints" bookmark
    Some pigeon feathers that were found in the park"
    Well done! 5/5
    ^ Love these lines! Very unique and intensely heart wrenching1