The wording in your poetry always impresses me. This piece is powerful and the message within is conveyed excellently. Also, the imagery in the whole poem is remarkable, it unraveled along with every line.
I like the beginning, it is intriguing and it pulled me deeply into the poem. Maybe you can create more powerful rhythm from the beginning to the end with rearranged punctuation, the flow seems a bit chaotic to me, but that's minor compared to the greatness of the whole piece.
Thank you, Nyell. Your comments are most appreciated, especially in your detail. It could be said that hearing that something is good or bad is enough; but it's not. It's always useful to hear what strikes people or what doesn't, and I appreciate that you share your thoughts, emotions and reactions to a piece so thoroughly. It helps me craft future poetry.
*laugh* Thank you very much for the sentiment, Donald. Truly means a great deal.
As to what I'm experiencing... wondrous things, and unfortunately as well places that should have been treasured but were not. But over all, a great deal of beauty and awe to be found over here. Especially in some of the places where humans have consistently lived, loved, fought, sorrowed, danced, made love, birthed new generations, and died for thousands of years, layers and layers of our lives and dreams upon the next all the way to the present.
Makes you feel at once both very miniscule and very connected.
Well thought out. it flows together very beautifully. you have a way with putting your words together to make it seem as beautiful sounding as the ocean waves lapping against the beach and rocks with the view of a beautiful sunset laying in the far distance of the waters. keep up the good work. adn i love butterflies. write to me sometime.