Simply amazing! Your style is quite different from the norm but it's enjoyable in the way that it conveys your message through much easily.

You started off so nicely but the ending was a bit strange. Maybe you should try another line to end it off since it cuts off the entire feeling of the poem.

Your word choice is simply amazing and it truly enhances the imagery that flows through this poem.

The way you started each stanza with a few words that you elaborate on is quite interesting and keeps the reader's attention from the start.

No other criticism can be found in this poem apart from the ending lines which should sum up the entire mood and feeling of this poem.

Keep up the fantastic work! 100/5

Excellent write... very strong words you have used... very powerful poem...

"I miss you" -- the last of any honest lexis left to singe this earth,
(The only words I ever dream to hear coming from your lips)
A dainty whisper that cloaks my tears with frail breaths,
I inhale -- taking in the last of what remains to be our ardor,
(In fear of losing everything I never wanted,
Because you're the one that gave me life.)

^^.. very good choice of words...

I really liked it...the way you have started each stanza..."beautiful".. "I miss you"... its makes an impact on the reader...

wonderful read...

keep writing..

First off, because you mentioned it below the poem, I really love the ending. It is amazing and powerful. I think that you shouldn't change it, it seems perfect to me.

Overall, I really enjoyed in this poem from the beginning to the end. Your choice of words is excellent and the flow is great despite the long lines. I like the atmosphere that you created, it is truly captivating. I can't find anything to actually critique here.

I love the first line, it pulled me deeply into the piece and you continued to amaze me with brilliant and profound, greatly worded lines.

The third stanza is my favorite one, I can relate to it and it is truly heartfelt.

5/5 from me
Keep writing :)

Strong start stanze i like it and you draw me a picture to see it,i love the feeling that come out ,but the end is not strong as the sart you may be add 4th stanze ,good jop and keep it 5/5

5/5 WOW that was truth it was so poetic your words i can feel them everyone word with compassion and honesty if only i could wright with such poetic words wow again i loved it one of the few poems i truely loved it was my plesure to read it

5/5 WOW that was truth it was so poetic your words i can feel them everyone word with compassion and honesty if only i could wright with such poetic words wow again i loved it one of the few poems i truely loved it was my plesure to read it

The use of brackets was a bit strange, but it intrigued me, nevertheless. Make sure you're consistent with punctuation. Look through it again, you'll find at least one missing period.

Other than that, kick ass job you did there. :) Five from me for sure.

I think this should have got 1st or 2nd on poem of the week.

Wow. You are a far more expirenced writer than I'll ever be. :] This poem is another freaking amazing piece. I don't know what else to tell you. I wouldn't change a thing. The poem flowed along so well, I was shocked. :] Oh, I love how you use all the different types of puncuation and such. And the whole paraentheses idea. That's neat. Such strong words throughout this poem. This poem deserves sooo much more than a 5/5. You should be proud of your work. :]

Wow i actually liked the ending and nice write and description superior once again

love this line

(Yet you all yearn to hear those words so much

5/5

It's like stages in relationships. First it's him telling you that you're beautiful. Then, it's the I love you's. After that, it's I miss you. I actually really like the ending. It's like you don't want the one who gave you life the be taken away, because you'll die. At least I think that's what it means. Your vocabulary is outstanding in this, even if it was just thoughts that popped into your head. I wish I was able to do that.

> I inhale -- taking in the last of what remains to be our ardor,
["Our ardor" <--- I love this part. It's such a good way to describe the passion in your relationship.]

For the title, I really love it how it is. I suck at titles, so it's way better than one I could come up with. Sorry this comment isn't very helpful, but I really loved everything about this. It's so raw, if that makes sense. Great job!

Keep writing!
Cayce

I love this title! I saw it on a contest too and attempted to write a poem to it but have not been successful yet.

1st Stanza.
Amazing used of words here. It just captured me from the beginning urging me to read more and left me captivated. Your use of brackets were effective and in turn made the poem more interesting to read.

"Sizzling upon the contact of your lips unto my skin."
^I loved how this line flowed off my tongue while I read it out loud and the way it sent chills up and down my spine was amazing!

2nd Stanza.
The meaning hidden behind in your words in this stanza blew me away! It was so powerful and so much full of truth that I applaud you in expressing yourself so effortlessly with a beautiful choice of words.

3rd Stanza.
"A dainty whisper that cloaks my tears with frail breaths"
^AHHH. What an amazing way to put words together making it flow so flawlessly. I loved how you constructed this sentence because it sounded so right and fit the piece nicely.
This stanza tied the whole poem together making everything clear and easy to understand.

I adored this piece. It was in no way simple and I loved the hidden meanings I had to think to understand. Your choice of words here were flawless and captivating making me want to read it a second and even third time. Amazing piece my dear.

*5/5*

Well, I kinda had a heard time reading it
the words seem as if they are just put
together but at the same time...the words
fit perfectly if you can grasp what I am saying. Well I liked it i had a read it a couple
times to understand it but then it hit me.
Well done
<3TAy
5/5

Ur style in writin is really unique...and the title did attract me to read the poem and it was amazin and perfectly written..so keep it up5/5..
Take care...

Wow your words are strong,perfectly arranged, ive gone through alot and i know how stuff feels but hey you over come !!

Excellent poem..in my opinion the ending is perfect.. i dont see any improvement needing done on that..

your writing is very deep. and strong.
your style is unique. and i just really enjoyed reading your poem.

very good job.5/5

Oh my gosh!! Again this poem was fantastic! And is also going into my favorites! And I'm adding you as one of my favorite poets as well. This poem you wrote is harsh and loveable and relatable and just one of those poems everyone concentrates hard on to write but never can they find the right words. Well atleast me anyways:) You have a way of getting deep emotions wedged into your poems! great work
5/5

This is very, very good...and interesting. I've never read anything like this before...I really like it =D! Keep up the great--no, amazing-- work!!!

--Hannah