Comments : If Teardrops Never Fell (Monchielle)

  • 9 years ago

    by Cindy

    Rachel
    You have penned a wonderful Monchielle..I love the first line for each stanza that you picked. It has paved the way for your beautiful words.

    If teardrops never fell
    I'd take my place instead
    In the arms of sorrow
    To drown in my regret
    Wishing for tomorrow

    Tears can be the best release for pain and sorrow. Great imagery and flow.

    If teardrops never fell
    I'd never speak my peace
    My heart could never mourn
    Or say a sad goodbye
    If tears were never born

    I love the ending the best. The part where you say if tears were never born. All stanzs leading to your ending telling the what if's without tears. Very unique twist.
    Great job!
    Love Cindy

  • 9 years ago

    by Becca

    That was beautifully written. Just beautiful... 5/5!

  • 9 years ago

    by debbylyn

    Rachel you have done a great job on the monchielle form!

    "If teardrops never fell
    I'd take my place instead
    In the arms of sorrow
    To drown in my regret
    Wishing for tomorrow"

    ^ This verse stands out among the others as something special...it conveys such deep and heartfelt emotions....love the "arms of sorrow" insertion...and the wistful wishing last line where hope for tomorrow is hinted at...

    "If teardrops never fell
    I'd never speak my peace
    My heart could never mourn
    Or say a sad goodbye
    If tears were never born "

    ^ nicely sums up the feelings of the whole piece...if sadness were not a part of us...would we then be able to feel the intense emotions of love and happiness?

    Well done!

  • 9 years ago

    by End Of Eternity

    Outstanding poem indeed, just loved the complete theme and the way you presented it, awesome. If teardrops never fell, great punching line, life certainly would be plastic without tears.

    great poem dear, keep them coming

    all the best and take care

  • 9 years ago

    by Ashley

    Wonderful poem i loved it! it had such a great flow and everything! i hope to read more of your poems soon.

  • 9 years ago

    by Inevitable Dreamer

    Love the work. The way you work your stanza's is excellent, i am deffinatly going to try the pattern.

  • 9 years ago

    by Jenn

    Very good poem! Well written! keep up the good work! I enjoyed reading this!

  • 9 years ago

    by Prasad Ramesh Baadkar

    Tat was lovely again dear fren...

    I really love n appreciate poets like u bringing out d poetic talent tat a few know exists.......

    Itz always good to learn from such forms n leaving aside d poetic form..

    I really loved this poem... It was flawless for me...

    Keep it up..

    best wishz.. karan

  • 9 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    Borne can refer to:

    Borne, Overijssel, a town in the province of Overijssel in the Netherlands
    Borne, North Brabant, a smaller town in the Netherlands, near Schijndel
    Borne, Ardèche, a commune in the Ardèche department, France
    Borne, Haute-Loire, a commune in the Haute-Loire department, France
    Borne, Germany, a municipality in Saxony-Anhalt, Germany
    Borne, an Australian alt-rock band.
    Borne is the name given to a 'waymarker' on Liberty Road (La Voie de la Liberté) in Northern France, commemorating the Liberation of France.

    In the UK:

    -borne - a suffix for a place name, using a form of Bourne (placename)

    Ummmm, nope, it wouldn't have fit right.

  • 9 years ago

    by WaitAutumn

    Ack that must have been hard to do O_o" so many rules, making the word choice pretty limited.
    but you pulled it off
    n_n

  • 9 years ago

    by David Wallace

    I like the way u write. U commented on a poem of mine sometime back and I would like to tell u that ur comments are always welcome and are more than appreciated. I would like some critiquing from u more often. I'm trying to understand the monchielle type of poem written here but i dont understand the rhyme pattern so if u can help me it would be very helpful.

  • 8 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    This poem is so beautiful! I love everything about it. I like how you explained about the monchielle form at the end to those who don't know it. It's great that one can read a poem and learn about different styles of poetry at the same time! Great job!

  • 2 years ago

    by Robert Gardiner

    Nice Work!!!