Fire

by michelle   May 22, 2008


The fire blazes
Burning bright
Ash turning day
Into night

Sirens begin wailing
Trucks leaving safety
Cars begin leaving town
Making progress hasty

Animals begin panicking
Fighting to get away
Farmers fighting the heat
‘rain please rain’ they pray

As the danger grows rapidly
Flames engulf the town
I watched from the distance
As my home and town go down

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Pixxie Rebel

    I dunno, it just doesn't read as a poem to me, more like prose.

    I can't really give any advice on how to fix it, coz I can't really pinpoint what it is that just doesn't seem right, but...yeah.

    I like the concept though.

  • 15 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Nice description on the fire, and what others think and say, I like how you write what the animals do and what all goes on.

    "Animals begin panicking
    Fighting to get away
    Farmers fighting the heat
    �rain please rain� they pray"

    I like your rhyming, it all flows really well.
    Just delete that "�" in that last line.

    "As the danger grows rapidly
    Flames engulf the town
    I watched from the distance
    As my home and town go down"

    I love this, nice ending, really wowed me!

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