Comments : Beggars At The Feast

  • 15 years ago

    by Gizmo

    This was an amazing poem, you said things in it that will get people to think, and want to make a change. you wrote exactly how you feel about this society which is going to hell completely. part of this poem could be shaped up just slightly to get a better flow, but overall it was an amazing poem.

    We stand before our governments,
    Like beggars at the feast,
    Afraid to speak and spark a change,
    To challenge this great beast.

    - without a question in it, this is by far the best wrote and strongest stanza in the poem, the metaphors used show the government in their true colours and what the people have come to be. we should all stand up and have a say but as you have wrote, we are afraid to challenge something which we believe to be bigger than ourselves, if everyone thought like you, then our society may be changed.

    But what will be, if we don't stand,
    What future will we see,
    If no one lifts their head to look,
    At what we've come to be.
    - again this is a strong verse not as strong as it last but, its a con clusion neithertheless, its true and your words are true.

    the poem is amazing, definity its got issues in it that need to be adressed therefore this makes it such a real piece of work, you could possibly make it longer, give more examples, make people open their eyes and see exactly what we have come.

    great x

  • 15 years ago

    by Beautiful Chaos

    I think this is just the tip of the iceberg, you did a nice job with it. I think you could have gone further and opened it up even more, but your point is there and those of us who have our eyes open can hear it loud and clear.

    We stand before our governments,
    Like beggars at the feast,
    Afraid to speak and spark a change,
    To challenge this great beast.

    This is my favorite stanza, it is so true, there is not as much emphasis on getting politically involved in today's world, it is either done out of fear or ignorance, but it is done none the less. Very nice work. I enjoyed this piece.