Comments : A Funeral March (Revised)

  • 9 years ago

    by Avrii Monrielle

    Hey Unrequited!!

    Thank you for adding me to your favorites... it makes me feel special :)
    Also, I'm glad you like my shorter poems. I usually get more comments on the long ones because they "must be much better" if they are "longer." Lol.
    To read that it was short and original is, all in all, a blessing. hehe

  • 9 years ago

    by Avrii Monrielle

    Now, for a critique:

    Whoa. Pretty good poem. I'm outraged that nobody commented besides me, yet there were 104 readers... what is it, readers? You scared to comment??? lol

    O.K. Overall, I loved each and every stanza. Your starter was especially good. The last line of the poem, however, kind of confused me. For some reason, it sounded a bit like something you'd often hear a writer say: "Etched in a heart-shaped stone." Why did you decide to use this line in particular?

    Btw, poem on faves. yeaa!!