Scarf of death (Murder me with your love)

Awesome!!...Ur poem is deep and well-written....U really got a talent...Although it was kinda complicated ,I think I could get it ..
Good job,keep it up5/5...

AH! This is the piece you submitted to one of the contests in the club ... And I absolutely adored it. Your vocabulary is so broad .. it's appalling, because lines are so short, and simple, and yet they run so deep.

You start out so beautifully ... the diction that you use to describe this beauty is beyond stunning. The imagery is just breathtaking, and your choice of words is sophisticated, giving it a higher air.

Third and fourth stanzas are just amazing. My interpretation is that even the most beautiful things have some sort of negativity flowing from within them that can and will destroy us, but nonetheless, we'll always fall into the hands of that thing we hate, because the beauty is just so blinding ... we go in swords drawn, but will is just lost.

Tortured mind fragments its pain.
Impervious once, now insane.
My lucid dreams were wasted truth,
Her love became my hanging noose.
`Gorgeous wording. I absolutely adore this stanza -- it's like life -- these beautiful moments we find are dreams ... are they real or are they merely fragments of our imagination? A serum to ease our pain ... or rather, a play out of the pain our burning minds are expressing? The way you use love as the rope in which you will die by (from what I translate) is just ... it leaves me in awe.

Haunting ending -- but oh so true. Love beings, it happens, and then it fades away. A fate that we cannot alter.

Lovely job.
..__MiNDYY

I enjoyed reading this poem alot to tell you the truth. The title definitly caught the interest of my eye. It was well delivered and interesting. I'm not sure what I like more behind this piece the mythological sense which portrayed the goddess of love. Or the meaning which was represented behind your words. Both were evenly matched in my interest. You showed the audience that of course there is more to love then just what is on the outside. If you just love what is on the outside then another side is going to show. Personality.. And it did within this poem. Just not the way the beholder would of thought.
I liked the way you ended this piece by saying that there is no such thing as perfect love.

Overall this was quite an enjoyable read. I loved the use of techniques which you portrayed. Including the rhyme of this poem. You rhymed quite well and I didn't find it to be forced what so ever. Well done. You kept me interest from start until finish.

~Mel

"Venus smiling before my eyes,
Her beauty heavenly sunrise.
Attracted by her reticent smile,
Virtue wrapped in womanly style. "

Ah, mythology, Aphroditie the goddess of beauty and love her plant venus. I love reading poems like this. So much beauty in it.

"I saw no other, who could compare,
Nor did I require another's flair.
Enchanted aura, delimited she,
Magnetized kinetic energy."

Very descriptive I liked it. I can clearly see her beauty, her "enchanted aura" I love your use of wording here to, its complex and as I said very descriptive made up a very good stanza. This might be my favorite stanza so far.

"Slowly poisoned with jading stare,
Her inner demons scraped despair.
Leaching vows of eternal spring
Failed dreams on bloody skin."

As much beauty as there is in a person there is always something deep inside that we all love to hate. With so much perfection there has to be something that is isn't perfect. I like the way you showed this to your readers. Telling us that in so much beauty there is something else that you need to watch out for.

"Tortured mind fragments its pain.
Impervious once, now insane.
My lucid dreams were wasted truth,
Her love became my hanging noose."

So is she just a dream that you can control? Or a dream that seems so real that you are aware of it? This sounds like she has all power over you, everything that she is controls you. Thats how love is.

"Upon the stool I looked around,
Her scarf of steel, now so profound.
Our love began with a leap of trust,
Ironic now, this love is dust. "

Amazing ending, I didn't expect that, I think this was my favorite stanza of the whole poem. As perfect as a love can be, it never lasts "this love is dust" So i agree with this poem, on all levels. Amazingly written and very descriptive.

Very describtive i like