Comments : Cool Song

  • 15 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    This was inspired by my soon to be ex wife

  • 15 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    "When I was young, don't seem long ago
    Thought I knew all there was to know
    1'm wise enough to see I was a fool
    Now that I realize what is really cool"
    -I actually caught a few errors in this first stanza, I'd like to point them out to you. :]

    First line,
    "When I was young, [doesn't] seem long ago."
    In this case, I think you meant to say doesn't, don't doesn't make sense. :)

    Second line,
    "[I] thought I knew all there was to know"
    -If I were writing this poem, I would put I in there. However, it sounds okay with out it. :]

    Third line, you just hit the wrong key. You'll realize you have 1'm instead of I'm. :]

    "I do not want to steal any thunder
    From those that are six feet under"
    -Nice rhyme. However, don't use contractions. Replace do not with don't.

    "No song that could be sung is older

    Than the house the house of the rising sun"

    -I think you really need to find some way to connect these two. Because, they really should go together. It's almost like a sentence that isn't connected.

    Overall, I loved the whole message of this poem. The vocabulary was great and all. Rhyme was amazing. It made the poem flow nicely. :) A few minor errors, edit those and you've got a masterpiece. 4/5. :]

  • 15 years ago

    by Mallory

    Wow intense. I liked it though 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Finalgravedigger

    WOW that was a great poem, what great word choice and originalty, i hung onto your words begining to end nice write

  • 15 years ago

    by Karla

    VEY well writen. I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing.