Comments : Dungeon

  • 15 years ago

    by Lori

    WOW! I really like this one! Its so affetionate and so creative! Excellent!

    Behind her four walls she sits and she waits
    When she built up her walls she left out her gates
    Inside her four walls she sits and she cries
    Wondering how hard the walls are to climb

    ^^I can't get over how much talent and beauty is in this piece...I also love the depth of the stanza in this part!^^ Love it!

    Yes she knows she could never escape
    Behind her four walls pain is her fate
    She waiting for someone to come save her soul
    To save her from the self she's become in this hole

    ^^This stanza really shows your creativity and you can just feel your emotions pooring out^^

    She sits in her dungeon, she's waiting for you
    Waiting to see just what you will do
    How far will you go to help her break free?
    Will you climb her walls however high they may be?

    ^^Beautiful...simply beautiful...I find this line very original...but you add your own touch of uniqueness to it:)^^

    Her walls are not there to keep you away
    She put up her walls to test out your strength
    She built her walls for you to climb
    So you can prove you're worth her time?

    ^^Lovely ending...absolutly lovely darling.. I really like this piece...your profile says that you want advice...but I have nothing to criticize...my only advice is to keep writing because you are very talented..and are gifted with extremely excellent word choice! Great job girl! 92494237487/5

  • 15 years ago

    by LoreNz0

    Well this poem certainly proved worth my time!
    very powerful and descriptive stuff. this poem held alot of meaning and thoughts that even I myself have had.
    love this poem 5*

  • 15 years ago

    by Exostosis

    Omg..dis is just so awsm...absolute burst of emotions..love it...5/5