Living for you

by Angel Eyes   Jul 9, 2008


Boy i like you
but I'm scared
i don't want to be hurt
but i can't help my self

your always on my mind
you haunt me in my dreams
your all i need
your the perfect guy for me
so tell me...

do you like me too?
will you always be there for me?
cause if you won't
i don't know what I'll do
cause so far
I'm only living for you

0


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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by Unamed

    I like it this way!..haha

    great job!

    Aly

  • 9 years ago

    by Catastrophic Beauty

    The second is better. Readers enjoy poems more when proper language is used. It shows that you are more serious about writing and it just looks better. Also not many people comment in the slang poem section of this site so you have better chances of people commenting and rating your poetry in a more visited section.

    I don't know if you wanting us to vote for this but I will anyway based on the second version. I give a 4/5. I hope you take my advice into consideration and maybe praise my comment.

    Take Care!
    Shannon <3

  • 9 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Definetly the second, I think you should write the words out and not just put "u" or something like that, it makes the poem easier to read and it looks better.

  • 9 years ago

    by Unamed

    Haha..well im kinda in that situation..

    hmm..in ur forum u asked for help to see how u can make ur poems better..

    heres my opinion, altho u dont have to use it..

    umm i realize that this poem is in slang, but i think its a bit distracting with all the constant slang..it might make it better if u wrote it out completly..i don t know, might wanna try it..

    once again, u dont ave to use this..

    4/5
    <3 Aly