Comments : Paint It Black

  • 15 years ago

    by Ash

    Amazing poem with so much of emotions flowing through it and yet the subtility of it all is well captured within this exquisite piece.

    "Thoughts scattered like color patterns of broken art --
    There're tears hidden below the surface of what's seen,
    Anguished cries fill the abyss of my patchwork heart."

    ^^ I like the way you started this stanza. It created an immense visual effect within the readers mind and immediately had my attention captured. It's such a strong stanza with so many powerful words.

    "An empty slate, shattered memories of before --
    So paint it black, just paint everything black,
    Because some things don't matter anymore."

    ^^ A wonderful ending to the entire poem. It just sums up all your feelings and together makes the reader realise the essence and depth of your pain.

    Excellent work! 5/5 from me.

  • 15 years ago

    by HvN

    Great flow, amazing piece of work :]

    5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    The flow of words painted with imagery your dark emotions in a very original style

    Well Done

  • 15 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    "Thoughts scattered like color patterns of broken art --"
    ``Great simile. Well done explaining!

    "Good times washed away like faded watercolors --"
    ``Another excellent simile.

    Overall, a good poem. I loved the ending. It said it all. :) 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Bugg

    This poem was really good. I really liked the ending. I loved all the words and imagery that you used, too. Everything was perfect. :)

  • 15 years ago

    by BlueEyedMystery

    Thoughts scattered like color patterns of broken art --
    `` Ahh, wonderful opening, and I loved the simile. It gives off such a pretty picture, even though I can tell this is going to be a sad poem. Making sad things beautiful is a true art. :]

    Good times washed away like faded watercolors --
    `` Another vivid simile. This whole poem is producing such colorful images.

    So paint it black, just paint everything black,
    Because some things don't matter anymore.
    `` All that pretty color just turned black. o.o I should have guess they would because of the title, but it still kind of shocked me, in a good. way. This ending was brilliant.

    For your first poem in six months, this was amazing. I wish I could write poems like this. They always seem to amaze me, and I can't find the right words to discribe them.

    Great job!

    Keep writing!
    Cayce

  • 15 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Beautiful write...
    the meatphors used are wonderful... they match your poem so very well...

    "An empty slate, shattered memories of before --
    So paint it black, just paint everything black,
    Because some things don't matter anymore."

    ^^ this is very touching... as if though you dont want to let it go... but still you have to...

    Excellent write..
    keep writing...

  • 15 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "Thoughts scattered like color patterns of broken art --
    The tears hidden below the surface of what's seen,
    Anguished cries fill the abyss of my patchwork heart."

    This is my favorite stanza and a really captivating opening. Such vivid imagery you had here! I really enjoyed this poem, a great read from start to finish. Keep writing, always and forever....