Wow. You have captured this dreadful disease called depression so well. It has it's way of hiding deep in the mind that only it's carrier sometimes knew what it's like. Sad but true. Beautifully penned.
Belle, this is truly sad, emotional yet beautifully written.
I have to admit I'm in the same boat most nights when nobody can hear or see my tears that's when they come out though have never cut I've been close to giving up everything because the pains been unbearable but I personally feel that suicide only passes the pain to others.
If you ever need to chat, my inbox is open.