Comments : Love Story

  • 15 years ago

    by H E Losey

    Enjoyed the story. but you need to edit it a bit.
    First stanza lines 1&2 are very verbose aand could be shortened to improve metre
    Line three change "range" to "rage"?
    Second and third stanzas could use some metre work.
    Last two lines in stanza four seem off a bit but can't put my mind on it.
    As always an opinion.