Comments : Between Mind and Soul!

  • 15 years ago

    by BlueEyedMystery

    Oooh, I love dark poems, Kris! ^.^ They're my favorite kind, for some reason I just can't seem to write good happy poems. T.T That's got to mean something. >.> Lmao. Anyways..

    I find myself trapped in a dream,
    I feel like I'm stuck, stuck in between.
    I notice that I've been here this very theme,
    I know that I know this one very scene!
    `` o.o Oh my gosh. Too. many. I's. Seriously though. I liked this stanza, except allll the I's ._. They're over-whelming. Try writing it like this:

    I find myself trapped in a dream,
    feeling like I'm stuck in between.
    Noticing I've been to the very theme,
    knowing that I know this very scene.

    Just a suggestion though, it's your poem. ^.^

    To kill him is to embrace him!
    To embrace him is to love him!
    To love him is to forgive him!
    To forgive him is to be with him!
    `` I looove this stanza. You've gone from killing him to being with him. Haha, it kind of tricks your mind.

    Thus for him to be home in a hole,
    He finds himself stuck Between Mind and Soul!
    `` Good ending. :]

    Looveded iiit, Krisss.

    Hey can I call you Krissy? o.O
    I have this urge to, like really bad.

    Cayce xx

  • 15 years ago

    by Lost and Delirious

    Wow, i love it ! and my favorite part is the last stanza.

    -Brittney

  • 15 years ago

    by Seronum

    Awesome Poem keep up your good work 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Monica93

    OMG Kris i loved it!!! i really liked the second stanza the best though!!! the ending rocked though... really loved it!!! and omg you should let Cayce call you Krissy!! hehe

  • 15 years ago

    by KN

    I think this is a great poem. It is sad, but you write very well and describe your sadness nicely. 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by WiltingWallFlower

    So I really like this poem. I'm also a little confused. Could be because i'm kinda sleepy lol but it is very good.

  • 15 years ago

    by ForeverASickKid

    Im speechless! amazing work! 5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Moon

    I luv the way u write .. its really strong ...
    this is a cool poem .. keep it up wolf :P

  • 13 years ago

    by victoria

    BY far my favorite poem!!!i loved this. its so vivid and deep. fantastic!!!

    victoria