Wow. kick ass poem temps. and sexy :) 5/5
**lesthat

Ahhhh! TEMPS. This was amazing! Wow girl this prolly has to be my fave from you. The emotions you described we so real and so beautiful. I could feel everything you were saying. I wanted lose myself in my loves arms and hear his heartbeat. Oh boy did you bring back memories for me. Wow. Your descriptions were flawless...the flow was just amazing...your choice of words just blew me away. Nothing seemed out of place here and I wouldnt not change a thing. The title was amazing and totally captured my attention. Wow.

I loved it.

Well done. :]]]

*5/5*

Temps! i love this poem! it's like you can see the two people being in love. it's such a romantic and sexy poem! great job, as always!

5/5 <3
kait

Wonderful and thoughtful temps
But you do write from your heart so there is no question about it beeing good =)

The taste of your candy-like lips that linger against mine,

Is the word that needed?

That's very pretty Tempsipoop. :)

Five out of five.

I loved the words you used to describe it all. ^_^ Potent grasp...Tee hee. Lol.

Wow, a very srong poem. You worded it perfectly, and you set the seen amazingly. The discriptiveness of your poem was very good as well, I could practically picture what was going on. I always enjoy reading your poetry. 5/5

Beautifully written poem!
The emotions are so strong and you describe the action so clearly!
5/5!!
xx

Passionatly
`passionately

The taste of your candy-like lips linger against mine,
`Oooh, I really like that. Candy-like. Normally it's honey, or something like that used to describe lips, or there is no description at all when talking about actually locking them, but this caused a sort of, cute and sweet essence to the words. Made me think of it as an inside joke of such.

Your ending. Ohmigosh, your ending! It's so different, and I love that it's seeping confidence. You can detect a sort of ... uncertainty, but the confidence just oozes, which you rarely ever see. And if you do, it's normally just cocky instead. But these words are of someone who isn't afraid to dream, and the warmth in the atmosphere just strengthen that.

together in your arms, holding me tightly,
`My only critique is that I found that really, really overused. It's in almost every love piece I read, but I don't know if you can really change it. Just pointing it out though.

I love that you actually made the noise "pitter patter." It was like a constant background noise.

Wonderful write.
I love that you're writing differently now.
It's not as story/prose-like.

..__MiNDYY

It's a good write. Very nicely described thoughts. I liked the lines. Good one indeed.

I think this is sweet and passionate. It shows emotions well. I do think, however, that it was sort of empty. It picks a random start, and a random end. With no boundary to explain. It has a sort of mysterious existence.
"together in your arms, holding me tightly, is what I desire."
that line sort of made me stumble. it was worded awkward, and punctuated awkwardly.
I think that some of your words fit together like a puzzle, and others go splat.
This piece was creative. I like it.

Lexie

The depth of emotion in this poem is amazing it really speaks to the reader I can certainly relate to the emotions and feeling portrayed in this piece and I can not think of anything that could improve it.

I really did feel the emotion from start to finish. But the emotion became greater and greater. Even though the poem is short, I felt the emotion over flowing by the end.
Throughout the whole poem I was visioning a scene. I really love a poem when I feel like I visulive it.

Yearning for that delicate touch of your fingertips-
across my tender skin so sweetly and passionately.
The taste of your candy-like lips linger against mine,
together in your arms, holding me tightly, is what I desire.
^
I really love the way how you started it. You were discriptive so the reader was gripped from the begining. But it also felt real (I don't know how to explain it)

Your fingers intertwined with mine; a potent grasp.
Our bodies so close together producing comfort and warmth,
your heart beating against mine - pitter patter, pitter patter.
The kind of love that is everlasting and romantic.
^ I love how much power and emotion you put into your work. The reader can really feel the emotion.

This never-ending dream of being with you forever,
is becoming permanently plastered in my mind.
Feelings for you continue to build up quickly,
as I yearn for that one moment with you-
that will convince you that I am worthwhile.
^
i love the way you ended the poem. I feel that many people (if not all people) can relate to it.

I felt a lot of emotions in this one. I loved the way you worded it, it was perfect!

"your heart beating against mine - pitter patter, pitter patter.
The kind of love that is everlasting and romantic."
^^^ these were my favorite lines for sure.

I liked the way you ended it, it closed it very nicely. Every poem I read of yours just keeps getting better. 5/5

Caitlin =]

Yearning for that delicate touch of your fingertips-
across my tender skin so sweetly and passionately.
The taste of your candy-like lips linger against mine,
together in your arms, holding me tightly, is what I desire.

~~~A bit cliche at first, but the main thing is that I can tell it's from the heart; I can feel the yearning, but I don't understand the reason you put a dash after the word "fingertips"~~~

Your fingers intertwined with mine; a potent grasp.
Our bodies so close together producing comfort and warmth,
your heart beating against mine - pitter patter, pitter patter.
The kind of love that is everlasting and romantic.

~~~"A Potent Grasp" wow, I really love that phrase.... it says so much. Unique and lovely. You are to be commended for that creation =]
The pitter patter part was kind of mushy and over-sentimental, and it just didn't click with me, but whatever makes you happy is fine with me =]
Don't we all wish for everlasting love? I wish it were that easy....~~~

This never-ending dream of being with you forever,
is becoming permanently plastered in my mind.
Feelings for you continue to build up quickly,
as I yearn for that one moment with you-
that will convince you that I am worthwhile.

The last verse kinda sealed the deal that this is a pretty good poem. The concept of convincing someone to take time out of their life for you is the most difficult part of ... seducing someone's heart.

Overall, I did like this poem. It's how I'm feeling now, and then again, not how I'm feeling since my feeling is more sad, but I did like the poem. No errors, short and to the point, you did a wonderful job at presenting love in its most innocent hopefulness.

Great job,

5/5

~Stephen White

First of all, Wow, this poem was very passionate and emotional. I truly loved it. The title caught my eye "A never ending dream" good title choice. Now.. on to the comment.

"Yearning for that delicate touch of your fingertips-
across my tender skin so sweetly and passionately.
The taste of your candy-like lips linger against mine,
together in your arms, holding me tightly, is what I desire."

This was very descriptive, really gives the readers a clear picture as to what exactly is happening. A scene plays inside my mind and I can actually see this happening.

"Your fingers intertwined with mine; a potent grasp.
Our bodies so close together producing comfort and warmth,
your heart beating against mine - pitter patter, pitter patter.
The kind of love that is everlasting and romantic."

I like that your adding sound and touch to this, gives the poem humanity. "Warmth", "Comfort" good words to use, this gave me the feeling of being with someone, visualizing being with a person you love. And adding sounds "Pitter patter, pitter patter" as I said giving the poem humanity.

"This never-ending dream of being with you forever,
is becoming permanently plastered in my mind.
Feelings for you continue to build up quickly,
as I yearn for that one moment with you-
that will convince you that I am worthwhile. "

I can truly relate to this, wanting to be with the person I love forever, and I'm sure many others can relate to this as well, which makes this a very good read. I loved this poem and I give it a 5/5 great job keep it up.
;)

Uhm even it dose not rhym, i cna say i enjoyed that one pretty much ,

and who can not get those words
This never-ending dream of being with you forever,

that line , is my never ending wish,

great one