Comments : As my soul touches the moon

  • 9 years ago

    by Amber

    Like I said to the last poem I commented, You have a powerful way with your wording.
    I don't know what it is but there is just something about it that draws my attention.

    I mean your descripions were very good!!

    Really Good job!

  • 9 years ago

    by Dixiedaisy

    I was very impressed with this write. I am drawn to nature poems and love it when someone can describe to me exactly what they are seeing and feeling with the power of words.

    Marvels and mysteries surround our earth
    As ideas and answers are always given birth
    Gravity sustains us to stay on the ground
    But if souls should fly what would be found?

    ^^ There are very many mysteries that lie within our earth and atmosphere. If souls were to fly I believe that it would become a rude awakening to find the answers of the age old question "Why"?

    Eyes stare and look upon the blue yonder
    As thoughts race drowning in wonder,
    Stars shoot about leaving mouths agape
    Spirits are inspired with souls that escape.

    ^^ So many times I have looked into the sky wondering about the huge space and it's contents. How, When and If are big precessors to the opening questions I have about it. It is simply amazing and overwhelmingly beautiful

    Slowly rising our spirits float to the above
    Gravity, reality and society are simply shoved,
    The crisp air keeps calling in everlasting silence
    Hypnotized by the night we move in suspense.

    ^^ Such tranquility and love of nature spoken of in this stanza.

    The moon's glow drives souls off the planet
    As fainted beams guide us to touch it's granite
    Out of world experiences causes spirits and nature to align
    With new divine eyes look upon life's ultimate design.

    ^^^ Serenity, tranquility, and solitude awaits anyone reading this. They will find themselves engulfed in the beauty of the piece. Nice imagery and great flow.

  • 9 years ago

    by mandy

    I was looking for a favorite line, but each word you used, is just so beautiful and touching. You defanitly have talent. Keep writing and don't let it go to waste. 5/5!

    -mandy :)

  • 9 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    This poem had a amazing flow and rhyme along with it. Honestly, I saw nothing wrong with this. It's basically flawless in my opinion. Such great imagery and word-choice throughout the entire write made a wonderful poem in the end. 5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by unicorn

    Fantastic!!!

  • 9 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    I love nature poems, but it's very rare that I find a piece I can actually get into and enjoy, this piece on the other hand was fantastic and I enjoyed it very much. The words make the reader think about the universe and how mysterious it truly is while painting a fantastic image in our minds. Not really to much to complain about in this piece besides a couple rhyming errors. In stanza three the first two lines sound similar, but above and shoved don't really rhyme like above and shove would. Lines three and four of than stanza don't really rhyme at all, although they sound similar depending on how you read it the words don't actually rhyme. Overall a great job and not really to much to complain about like I said, weirds that don't rhyme that sound similar can just be said a different way no big deal. Excellent job and great flow and imagery 5/5 from me GG23

  • 9 years ago

    by Austin

    I agree with Karl Wild up there. Nothing really wrong minus a rhyme or two. Felt easy to read, interesting, captivating at times. Your choice of words definitely made the poem what it is. Keep up the good work.

  • 9 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Beautiful write.. there's so much beauty in each line... i found it very mystical... very spiritual...

    "Marvels and mysteries surround our earth
    As ideas and answers are always given birth
    Gravity sustains us to stay on the ground
    But if souls should fly what would be found?"

    ^^ truly.. so many known and unknown mysteries surround us... so many answers to a single question...

    "Eyes stare and look upon the blue yonder
    As thoughts race drowning in wonder,
    Stars shoot about leaving mouths agape
    Spirits are inspired with souls that escape"

    ^^ again so many mysteries beyond the blue above...I love shooting stars... they leave a feeling of happiness inside me.. :) beautiful imagery... again a spiritual effect is left behind..

    "The moon's glow drives souls off the planet
    As fainted beams guide us to touch it's granite
    Out of world experiences causes spirits and nature to align
    With new divine eyes look upon life's ultimate design. "

    ^^ beautiful ending... there is so much serenity in this stanza... It makes me marvel at the god's design...

    wonderful write.. wonderful word choice...

    keep writing...

  • 9 years ago

    by Bugg

    I think you have a very wonderful way with words. This poem was excellent. It was easy to read and it flowed well. Good job :)

  • 9 years ago

    by Fantasy

    This poem is so detailed, its like your looking into your mind, and seeing what you were thinking, i love it!

  • 9 years ago

    by Weeping Wolf

    Wow...great imagery! The 7th and last lines are my favorite, i love the moon, and the way you described the spirits is just beautiful. i some like this, check them out sometime.

    xxxxweepingwolfxxxxx

  • 9 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    Interesting concept and good imagery. I didn't care for the repetition though.

  • Such a powerful poem! it just shows the talent you have with words. good job. i'll be reading more. thank you for your comment on my poem. *me and mr. razor*

    *Ada

  • 9 years ago

    by Momentary Relapse

    The imagery in this one is definitely something I enjoyed. This is one of those that can be opened to interpretation. I do like the last stanza. And with the continual mention of the sky and stars etc, it tied all together rather nicely.
    ~Faith-less

  • 8 years ago

    by Shellaine shelli

    Oh my gosh, wow your words were so beautiful and detailed. the images that your words portrayed were absolutely stunning, in my mind i could see everything and created like a fantasy. a truly beautiful and enchanting write. great job and keep it up cos you are really talented!! x

  • 8 years ago

    by Andrea

    Amazing and inspiring! I've been through all your poems and this one is my favourite. You are truly gifted- your use of vocabulary and the manner in which you convey your underlying messages is remarkable! What more can i say...?WOW!!!

    (P.S. Incorrect spelling may detract from your poetry at times)

    Nevertheless, outstanding work!!

  • 8 years ago

    by mnemosyne

    What a strong and beautiful piece. The imagery was absolutely beautiful; cryptic, and calming. Not much else to say, Dixiedaisy and Lonely Rider pretty much took my words from under me. (: Overall this is a very well written poem. The meter was solid, rhymes did not read forced, and it held a powerful meaning. Great job,

    Keep writing
    down the bones,
    `Nova