Comments : Writing Disease

  • 15 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    "This disease infiltrates my senses,
    Slowing me with each virus it dispenses,
    You can't cure something born from desire,
    Just like ice melts in the face of fire,"
    `This was my favorite stanza out of all of them. Great word chice, I thought.

    Overall, a pretty good poem. I thought the word choice was alright, the flow was good, the puncuation you used commas after each line, I think you should throw a period in there instead of a comma after each sentence, if you understand what I'm saying... Umm other than that.. content was good, 5/5