No Good In This Goodbye

I cant add the 's to things, because it comes up with those funny symbols. Thanks otherwise :)

"Hey dad howsit going?
The doctor said I oughta be here.
Flew 3000 miles from New Zealand,
Sold my car to pay the airfare."

-- First line should look like this.. "Hey, dad, how's it going?" Also, I think you should spell out "three thousand" just because "3000" stands out.

"I been making sure your gardens still growing,
I been giving your prized roses the most care.
I know you cant hear me but Im right by your side,
So even in your coma you have a friend here."

-- "Cant" & "Im" needs apostrophes.

"The doctor pulls me aside to explain the situation,
In another room I shed silent tears.
As the doctor says your dad will never recover,
I am so sorry but his end is near."

-- When saying what someone else is saying to someone, you should put quotes around the words. It will be easier to read.

"Hey dad I have to get going,
My planes the next one to leave town.
But dont worry; the doc has you on life support,
Coz I believe you will come around.
I love you dad, I will see you later,
I refuse to say goodbye.
Those two words are so ironic,
Because there is no good in this goodbye."

-- Comma's after "hey" & "dad". "Dont" = "don't". "Coz" = "'cause".

"Hey dad howsit going?
Its been 4 months and doc has called me back.
I really wished your eyes would be open,
And that your health was back on track."

-- Comma's after "hey" & "dad". "howsit" = "how's it". "Its" = "It's". "4" would look better spelled.

"I have sold my house and everything I own,
To pay the medical bills to keep you here.
I have nothing left to sell and your health has not improved
Now I know the end is very near."

-- Sadddd. Everything is perfect in this stanza.

"Hey dad dont you worry,
Your memories will never die.
I love you and refuse to say those words,
Because there is no good in this goodbye."

-- Comma's after "hey" & "dad". "dont" = "don't".

*Overall; I liked the poem. I thought it was nice that you wrote something for your friend and his father. My only suggestion would be work on adding comma's, and apostrophes where they should be. I liked the rhyming, and I thought it flowed well. Good job. :]

Five out of five. [5/5]

``Briana

Sorry, I actually have more to say. I forgot to mention the goodbye that the poem speaks of that the man does not wish to say. I just hope the man knows that there's no need to say good bye. There's a song by Regina Spektor, it's called "The Call". I think it's a great song and I think it can pretty much say what I mean. I think it fits with this poem & story.

This was an amazing poem. I feel as though my heart has been touched by both these words and the actions of the person who had to go through this all. It just goes to show though, that there really are some good people in the world. We can never stop hoping, because that means we've given up. It is clearly shown that this man has not given up, and still hopes that maybe someday, the sun will shine once more and his father will awaken. It's beautiful. I really do wish that more people were like this man. We have to learn to give life all we can and try to overcome all these hardships placed in out lifes. Even when it's something as difficult as this. This poem has not only touched my heart, but it has also helped open my eyes a bit more. I know that I too have to try and give this life my all because when there's something I care about enough like this man did, all the pain and money in the world is worth it in the end for that little candle light in the corner of the room. Hopefully, with time the light grows stronger and stronger. Brighter and brighter. Hopefully, we can learn to cherish all of the good moments in our life and think of all the happy memories. Because it's those happy memories that keep us going. It's the people we love and the times we shared that give us hope. This was an amazing poem. Thank you. Great job Siro.