Comments : Of Harmony

  • 10 years ago

    by Nee

    I think this is my first poem to read for you.
    just the idea of an unrhymed poem gives me so much inspiration, lol !
    I loved it =)

    The moon has no curative power for his ignorant mind.

    this line is really touchy, well written
    I don't understand why has no one commented on it, I find it really sweet =)
    great job on this one
    keep writing xxx

  • 10 years ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Natale,

    this looks good enough to frame...

    Pink sways slashed across darkening blue velvet skies,
    ^
    I can see the pollution caused be the ever increasing air-traffic. It may look colouful, pretty even, but it is nothing more than poison.

    Wondering who will stop to identify this vivid beauty.
    ^
    Beautiful destruction?
    Rushing man denying, cannot find time to embrace life,
    ^
    A world where time is money, but the world has little time left, who actually cares, certainly not the man in the suit!

    The moon has no curative power for his ignorant mind.
    ^
    Agreed, the moon is just another orb to infest!!

    Traumas dictate the formation of our lonely personas,
    Amongst each other we search for a rescue, salvation.
    True happiness can be found with the smile of a child,
    Stopping to recognise God's presence in a mere flower.
    ^
    So true, happiness is often over complicated, people spend untold wealth and cause unaccountable misery in the search for happiness. The true is happiness is everywhere and doesn't cost a penny. *smiles*

    Fading clouds slowly announcing the passage of time,
    Life drifts away measured by a mechanical definition.
    ^
    Man is too proud of its acheivemnets, he litters the earth and pollutes the sky and sings his praises, but all he's actually doing is nailing the coffin of this doomed planet.

    Momentarily our skin deteriorates as death approaches,
    I attempt to comprehend the emotional value of money.
    ^
    Global warming is just one of the effects of our abuse on this planet, when will we stop? Alas, not before it's too late. We are all responsilble for our doom, yet most are affraid to admit this to themselves, let alone stand up and make a statement.

    When did zest for live become a materialistic concept?
    ^
    The day man believed he was infalable.

    Do we believe ourselves superior to a mere white daisy?
    If this song, I hear today, trivial as it is, makes me happy,
    How can I believe that this forest does not affect my life?
    ^
    We share this world, that is a fact, however many of us believe it is there for the taking. The fragile balance of life is being lost as we continue to take and not give back. The goverments need to do more. We need to do more, we all need to help this dying planet!

    Man arrogantly parades the earth stealing what isn't his,
    Naming the land his because he has the ability of speech.
    Who are you man? Only the inferior dream of superiority.
    Powerful is he who lives harmoniously with God's gifts.
    ^
    Well said Natalie. We rape this Earth, we have no consent, but we take much more than our fill regardless. This Earth is battered, bruised and crying for us to stop, pleading with man to stop **cking her. Man is a rapist a bully a murderer who commits crimes daily. I only hope man repents before it's too late!

    Wow Natalie, this is awe inspiring. I mean it when I say you are destined for bigger things. I will look forward to the day when I can say to others..'Natalie Sarantos, yeah, I've known her for years, before she changed the world!'

    Natalie, you already changed mine!!

    Michael
    xxxxx

  • 10 years ago

    by Sourav

    I appreciate your thoughts. So much of discrimination and dividing games are going on through this world. There's no respect for mankind. for nature and for God too! Everything nowadays is so materialistic. People don't have time to think about anything but their material interests. More they don't care to think.
    'Man arrogantly parades the earth stealing what isn't his,
    Naming the land his because he has the ability of speech.'
    Those two lines are great! And your whole poem too! Wonderful write! Strong and impressive! You are always meaningful!

  • 10 years ago

    by Sourav

    Many congratulations for winning the contest!! You deserve this! I'm so happy to see this poem on contest winner page!

  • 10 years ago

    by Jemma

    I absolutely loved this, the message, the language and the format. It worked wonderfully. I really cannot get some of your phrases out of my head. It was a very moving poem. It flows excellently as well, which is a great feat with free verse. You don't have the crutch of rhyme and you've done it really well.

    My favourite lines were:

    'Pink sways slashed across darkening blue velvet skies'

    Life drifts away measured by a mechanical definition.
    Momentarily our skin deteriorates as death approaches.

    A wonderful poem and I will certainly keep checking your work.

    Jemma

  • 10 years ago

    by Shadow and Flame

    I think it's a wonderful poem. my favorit line was:

    'Pink sways slashed across darkening blue velvet skies'

    It is sad that pollution spreds across the earth, and I too feel strongly about it. In fact, I'm working on that topic for a poem right now. I will certainly keep checking your work. Again, it is an a wonderfully beautiful poem.

  • 10 years ago

    by Cindy

    Congrats on the win :)
    Take Care
    Cindy

  • 9 years ago

    by jutt

    Wow, I really love this one it gets the point accross well.

  • 7 years ago

    by Jennah Bella

    You have a realy good poem here. I liked it a lot. It was good length poem (not too long not too short) really nice read.

    5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by Sai

    Loved the way you wrote it..

    Who are you man? Only the inferior dream of superiority.
    Powerful is he who lives harmoniously with God's gifts.

    this was indeed very nicely written...

    5/5