Paul,

You asked me to critique this and so I will to the best of my knowledge:)
If I were you I would do away with the interpunction at the end of the lines and I believe eye's = eyes.
Apart form that, there is nothing wrong with it, the syllable count is correct as far as I can see and the message is one I agree with 100 % : children alter your look on life completely and after they enter your life you find out what love really is:)
Really nice work, mr. Shannahan!

Hugs,

Ingrid 5/5

Cas'

^
Wow!!! This is really clever and it looks cool too! ..oh, and what a lovley topic too, she will love to see this when she's older. Give it a few years and you'll be writing childrens poetry..I know I have! :)

I'm not sure, but If I was doing one I would have not used two 1 x syllabel lines, just the one. Nine to one to nine.

Well done

Michael

Great poem =) ur an amazing writer... u have true talent... and ur daughter is very lucky to have a father like u... one day she'll find out.

This is great, the whole nonet thing works well for the topic, Ur super talented & the ylabble count is right, this is really nice goood job =]