War

by Black fox   Sep 10, 2008


After the horror,
after the sights
after the stammering
gunfire in the night.

When it leaves a bitter taste
as the land lyes in waste.
Good Soldiers become damned
with the enemy's blood on their hands.

While death sweeps across the land
a Soldier stands with a gun in his hand
thinking ... "what have I done?"
as he sees the ground is redder
than the burning Sun.

He looks at himself
he feels as he is to blame
he sees their suffering
he feels their pain.

As he looks in his head
he remembers home his Family
the ones hes left alone.
And with a heavy heart
he steps outside the War Zone.

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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Jayde

    This is exactly why soldiers get ptsd. i live next to ft hood and have had many soldiers tell me it went just like that. you did an awesome job in much fewer words.

  • 8 years ago

    by Hrodwyn

    Hey I like this poem cuz it is full of meaning n has a tru ring 2 it! It has a few spelling mistakes in it bt apart frm that it is very good.

  • 8 years ago

    by Hrodwyn

    Hey I like this poem cuz it is full of meaning n has a tru ring 2 it! It has a few spelling mistakes in it bt apart frm that it is very good.

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    I can see alot of thought went into this piece. Reall good job, 5/5. Em

  • 8 years ago

    by Love Panda

    Love it.

    After the horror,
    after the sights
    after the stammering
    gunfire {DURING THE} nights

    when it leaves a bitter taste
    {THIS ONCE PEACEFUL} land in waste
    good soldiers become dam{N}ed
    the enemys blood on their hands

    while death sweeps across the land
    soldier{S} stands with a gun{S} in {THERE} hand
    {ONE STOPS}think{S} ... what have i done?
    as he sees the ground is redder than the sun

    he looks at himself
    {FEELING HE IS THE ONE TO} blame
    he sees there suffering
    {AND}he feels their pain

    {MEMORYS POUR INTO} his head
    he remembers home, his family
    the ones hes left alone
    and with a heavy heart
    he steps outside the {DEATH}warzone

    ^added some things in {} that i think ties in better. i love this poem, its so touching and real. it would be nice if you could add another stanza in there somewhere saying "he can taste blood in his mouth" or something and something about surviving, great job though.

    i have a friend who is home from the army, he was sent to irak and i thank god he came home alive. though its hard for him to live now..he was in the middle of a conversation to one of his friend squadies when he was shot in the head.my friend still replays it in his head all the time, and i just want to take his pain away - i cant, i will never be able to.this poem reminds me of him..

    IBE
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