A mother' s heart (Rictameter)

by Ingrid   Oct 9, 2008


Hush now
don' t you cry child
Lashing out in despair
Your inability to steer
the hand of faith and accepting the road
you have to walk made you bitter
Even before your birth
I forgave you
Hush now

RICTAMETER
A rictameter is a nine line poetry form. The 1st and
last lines are the same with the syllable count as follows:

line 1 - 2 syllables - same as line 9
line 2 - 4 syllables
line 3 - 6 syllables
line 4 - 8 syllables
line 5 - 10 syllables
line 6 - 8 syllables
line 7 - 6 syllables
line 8 - 4 syllables
line 9 - 2 syllables - same as line 1

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "Hush now"

    I love just this first line, its so beautiful and shows such care.

    "don' t you cry child"

    Unless you think otherwise, that line above is 5 syllables when it should be 4. Also, there is a un-needed space after the apostrophe. Maybe reword to this:

    "don't cry child".

    "Lashing out in despair"

    That's a perfect word to use Ingrid, "lashing". This line is very descriptive and creates much imagery.

    "Your inability to steer"

    I like the way this is worded, it is creative and is worded in a non-cliche way. Nice job.

    "the hand of faith and accepting the road
    you have to walk made you bitter"

    At first when I read this, it didn't make sense but now I get it. Maybe add some kind of punctuation here, because there were no pauses which confused me if you get what I'm saying.

    "Even before your birth
    I forgave you"

    These two lines are filled with such true love, and tenderness. What sweet words you have woven together, it gives off such feeling to the reader.

    "Hush now"

    How beautiful, you chose the perfect two words for the beginning and end. Nice job Ingrid, there were a few things I pointed out but you did well.

    Take care and have a nice week.

    ~MaryAnne

  • 15 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Even before your birth
    I forgave you, only a mother and perhaps a father could say such words with conviction.

    The love of a mother is apparelled and unconditional...that is if you are lucky enough to receive love for your mother. Children require love to be shown to them, how else will they in turn know how to love their children. We love our children because they are our children, we never doubt this, we just know that we do and always do.

    Well done on this topic and using this form.

    Take care

    Michael