Everyday

"I don't know how was I able to do just that
look at the person who was looking back
I guess that I was just playing masquerade
eventually my fake self had to fade"

^My favorite stanza.

A very original poem and a great read.
5/5

-Amber

Another great piece from you. I loved the opening stanza, very strong. The meter was awesome, and I really liked the fact that not all of the rhymes were perfect, but rather slant rhyme. Slant rhyme is kind of my secret favorite. (; It adds extra interest into the piece. Overall, I felt the desperation in every line. We are the hardest critics on ourselves aren't we? Great job, loved the form, and story.

Keep writing
down the bones,
`Nova

This is so sad...filled with so much melancholy that it brings tears to my eyes..

"Everyday I wake up and wash my face
hoping that I can wash off my disgrace
I have washed my face over 2000 times now
each time, I looked in the mirror and wondered how"

^^ I love these opening lines, they're filled with so much depth and emotion that I'm immediately pulled into the piece, wanting to read more.

"I don't know how was I able to do just that
look at the person who was looking back
I guess that I was just playing masquerade
eventually my fake self had to fade"

^^Easily my favourite stanza of the piece. I find this verse to hold more power than the rest of the poem put together, while the imagery created in my mind from these lines is very vivid.

"I failed as a son, as a boyfriend, a lover
too many lies, that's what blew my cover
I should have just told the truth
instead it rotted away, until it was loose"

^^ Not as strong as the previos stanza, but still filled with so much regret and despair that as the reader I can feel my heart dropping with each line I read.

"I hoped that I would be a father
but then again why bother?
I'm sure I'd fail like before
I wash my face, and I'm not sure"

^^ father and bother-while they're similar, they don't rhyme and it threw the flow of for me. Maybe try changing to something else?

"Dry my face with the towel that hangs on the rack
I'm sure that tomorrow's another day, I'll be back. "

^^Despite the fact the previous stanzas are all quattrains and this is a couplet, it still works very well here and I love this ending. To me it's void of any hope, all that's left is hopelessness, and it makes for a powerful ending.

I thought that this poem was pretty good. I rated it a 4 bcuz, I rarely rate 5/5. I mean it would have 2 almost blow my mind 4 me 2 do that. But I thought that it was pretty good. You showed that u had a lot of emotion in it and I liked that. Personally it was a little different 4 me 2 read every line rhyming with the line above it. Like the 1st and 2nd line rhymed and then the 3rd and 4th did. I thought that was pretty neat but different. But over all it was pretty good. =)

Wow, this concept was great. It really showed your life and still had a great poetic feeling to it. Very amazing write. The flow, concept, and word usage were all superb! Truly worthy of a 5/5