I Won't Say It Aloud

Okay, I'll admit it
so maybe I'm a little scared
fine.. maybe a lot
but it's not like you're gonna care

What am I scared of?
honestly, I don't really know
well.. I guess I do in a way
but if you ask why, I'll say no

Maybe it has to do with me
me and my love for you
along with the inevitable question,
"Do you still want me too?"

Maybe it's cause I can guess your answer
and it's not what I want to hear
that's probably why I won't ask
it's your answer that I fear

But I fear more that just your answer
I fear quite a bit about you
like if you will ever hurt me
I don't want to go through that too

Oh wait, forget that last thing
I forgot you already did
yeah, you know you hurt me
don't try to play it off like a little kid

Yeah, I know you're sorry
but that doesn't take the pain away
maybe you should think next time
especially about what you say

I think I've figured it out
the thing I truly fear
I'll never say it aloud
but it's the words from you that I hear

-Tiana Johnson
October 1, 2008