This is a very well thought out poem. One in which I really enjoyed the wording as it began. I felt that it was setting up for what was to be a great poem.

I feel that there is definitely some flow issue's in parts. "But instead it was the one who threw the torch from the start." is one of the issue's with the flow, but truthfully it's not as if it takes away from the poem as much as it would other poems.

I think that this is a really wonderful poem and very well done. It was well thought out and planned.

Wonderful job.

5/5

Your poem is quite intersting... It portraits incredibly love, in its darkest times...
I find your choice of words incredibly powerful, it makes the image so much clearer...
I do think it flows quite well... though the rhythm is always harder to maintain in poems with longer verses, yet, the lenght of the verses is a matter of personal taste... I think it's fine like it is... :)

5/5
*isabel*

I really liked this poem. Your word choice was very creative and image it portrayed was very strong and clear. The flow was very good through out the poem. I really see nothing worng with this poem it was great. 5/5

Kind of a unique poem in the sense that it is a dark poem, but in many ways about love...I felt the rhymes were done pretty well and it helped the flow out greatly. Nice job 5/5 GG23

"Gasping and Collapsing as one bows and kneels"
Gasping and collapsing as one bows and kneels

I think the title is meant to be "Loves Slave" because Love isn't a noun (in any case, I'm pretty sure) so it means "Love is Slave".

"Wrenching and desecrating, left to animal like squeals,"
I think it's meant to be "left to animals" not animal.

Other than that, I feel there are way too many adjectives in this
http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/article.html?id=636
That's a good article to read if you haven't already done so.

Anyway, this was delightfully dark. I'm increasingly becoming a fan of dark poems and this just fuels me further.
The images created are great, I love the use of the word desecrating in the first stanza, I feel it is the ultimate dark word that isn't used nearly enough or in the right context.

Good job here, 5/5

jess ~

The thing that stuck out to me most was your flawless word choice. I could tell you took your time picking words that would fit in perfectly and it truly made the poem a masterpiece for me. Your flow was great and nothing seemed out of place or forced. I loved the message behind you sentences because it made me think and want more at the end. Your use of imagery was great in creating the scene in my mind and this was a unique poem that I truly enjoyed reading. Thank you for sharing.

"The grieving and shrieking will make any want more"
^wow flawlessly written and well said!

Well done. :]
*5/5*

It may not surprise you that I can feel you

5>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>