Wow, so full of raw and true emotion. I simply loved it. The flow, and the imagery was really well done. Great job. !

And the vast emptiness reaches with it's clawed angry hand through her belly,
[And the vast emptiness reaches with it's clawed, angry hand through her belly]
- You definitely need that comma for multiple reasons; it's grammically needed, it makes it flow better with the pause, and it breaks apart the long, long line.

This is a very deep poem. I enjoyed it. Not many changes should be made to this. I would suggest going over it and evening out the lines a bit, though it flows nicely and works okay, I think it would benefit the poem by doing so. A lot of the lines are so long that they become two within the limit allowed by Poems and Quotes. I don't suggest changing the words much though, they are written so nicely. I like how you got gory and nasty. I'm usually not into that, it makes my stomach churn. But you did it in different emotions than ' i want to rip your body apart'. Which made the 'ripping through her stomach' and so on exciting and interesting.

Very dark poem indeed... too dark for me :)

"And so these thorns are still burning from her dancing sands,
The maze is still turning, and the confetti of her torn violet ribbons weigh on my eyelashes,"

^^ loved these lines... wonderfully penned...
specially the imagery...

keep writing..

You have an amazing talent for maintaining a flow with no rhyme as well and this poem is very deep

5>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>...