"and then i walked with dreams, as to wrap myself in this caffeine cocoon and hum to the rhythm of purring. vanilla coating the back of my throat and air cut off. i'd be so satisfied."
Heartbreaking. Perfect. I love the way you describe things.
There are so many wonderful lines in this it is impossible to identify them all.
And someone bought up the journey/destaination thing not too long ago and I started a poem with it in it, however it is nowhere as good as the way you used it.
God I love prose.
The thing I love most about reading your poems is not even how incredibly beautiful they are, it's that somehow they always describe I'm gonig through in my life at that moment in time so perfectly. I don't know how that happens. How we can have two very different lives yet feel the same way at the same moment. It amazes me really.
"last night in my mind you told me all the things that you wrote out to me in believable and easily false text. and you know it's funny. because after all the things that i haven't said and all the things i wish that i'd done and hadn't, still nothing has changed for me and i think that everything and maybe even more has changed for you. "
^That part touched me in a way I can't explain because it's everything and more of what I wish I could say. The the most real thing to me right now.
I'm actually almost in shock and how good this describes me right now.
Your words really reach deep inside me, something that is not too easy to do. I have had writers block for over a year now, but sometimes I fall upon a poem that is truly worth reading, and this is one of them. Thank you for giving me a real treat. Timothy r
1 year ago
This poem makes me cry, in the best way. Could we collab please?
1 year ago
Woke up this morning to the feeling of not wanting to. I wish I could sleep forever because I don't want to face the reality of what is in my heart and mind and I would rather tape my mouth shut then say those words "I love you." Because I know you won't say them back and I don't want to think that and I don't want to know that. I just don't want it.
Last night in my head I told you again all the things I knew you never believed. I screamed them at you but my voice cracked and now I can only whisper and hope that you hear me. I know you think everything has changed for me and I'm sure from the show I put on, you would buy it. I smile, I laugh, I let him kiss me but only because I can't stand the feeling of the force pressing into my chest from the Lonliness of no longer hearing yours. I haven't done anything. Nothing has changed. None of this is right, nothing I say, feel, or try to live out.
You want my honesty?
I guess the way I see it now, I see it all, you deserved someone better from the start.
Yet sometimes I find comfort knowing that at one time we were something beautiful up until now. I don't want closure, I selfishly want you once and for all. Questions in my mind surface and I wonder where are roads will lead and I hope that maybe they will intertwine or the end will ultimately lead to our returning to one another. Yet I fear that I am destined to walk alone.
I saw you the other day outside when I was riding my bike, it was cold and I assumed you were freezing. I stood there and just watched you, I couldn't move because I was too prideful to. I knew you must of been cold but I didn't want to give you my coat because I knew you wouldn't take it. Your hands were probably numb, your ears were red, your face looked dry. I just stood bye. My feet felt like they were frozen in center blocks of ice. I don't mean to make excuses for why I didn't go up to you and beg you to come inside. it's just even with the weather below freezing, you seemed so happy and content, a side that I never brought out in you. You didn't seem cold. You didn't even shake. It's unexplainable. That's when I realized I was the one who was made of ice.
I got back on my bike and left without even thinking twice. On the ride back I craved caffeine, longing to remember the taste of your kiss. If right now I happen to get hit, that feeling would keep me so satisfied.
But the streets are empty, it's just I and these Crimson leaves. I felt the urge to cry but I couldn't because nothing moves me. I stopped for a moment as I saw a leaf fall from the trees. I picked it up and held it close to me, as your words played in my head, like a treasured melody "The beauty of fall is the melancholy."
I never doubt that I loved you. I always did but that doesn't mean I deserved you.
I'm sorry I wanted guarantees. I'm sorry that I hated the dark. I'm sorry that I believed that everything would be easy and simple and neat and proven like something in science. You told me nothing is; at least nothin worth while.
I know you didn't bring me up only to move across sure ground
I know you didn't teach me to think that everything must be within our control or understanding, and I learned that lesson, the day I lost you.
*My friend wrote this in reply. She was to shy to post it herself. So I did. Hope you see this.