Secret Love (collab)

by SashaMirage   Dec 16, 2008


With images of you racing through my mind
Separated, with one thought intertwined
I can no longer hide these words behind
I want to know are our feelings aligned?

So lovely, so beautiful, and so kind
Romantic words spoken always on my mind
Thinking of your essence be it rain or shine
Wishing to take your delicate hand in mine

Bound to the wall of my country, confined
Will not stop our love from crossing the line
For your precious name is upon my heart signed
Radiantly, it shines bright, as my holy shrine

Consumed by visions of innocence; my mind is inclined
Every second of your absence, conversations I rewind
Dreams of you are better than love and lust combined
Wrapping around your heart with an endless entwine

Are you my soul mate that God has assigned?
Are you the one I choose above all man kind?
Tell me, shall I wait for more vital signs?
Or is this love meant to be and truly divine?

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Cotton Candy Clouds

    They meet in the garden behind the castle at the stroke of midnight
    Her heart begins to race as he takes her by the hand
    His warm touch comforts her as she looks upon his face, against the light
    Their love is truly forbidden as he came from a foreign land
    ^^aww so cute! i love hidden or secret romance i had one at one point and it was just heart racing : ) great opening it makes the reader smile

    She gazes deep into her lover's eyes wishing for their love to last
    Anticipating the moment he will come take her away with him forever
    From the look in her eyes he knew that their love will soon combust
    Taking her with him to sail through the storm across the border
    ^^ahh...adrenaline rushing running away together is both criminal and one of the most romantic things to a girl !! i like the vocabulary used ! its deeper than just "things" and "it"

    Rose petals unfurl and fall to the ground surrounding them with beauty
    Mesmerized by the magic and the scent of the rose she falls into his arms
    Moments of passion overcomes them taking them to a higher degree
    The warm night embraces the sweetness delight of the secret love charm
    ^^ah love in the air~so cute!! i like how you didn't describe it in the typical way you took your guys's unique touch to it

    Chimes blow in the wind playing a magical tune as they begin to dance
    Hypnotized by the music of their love, drunk from the love in his eyes
    The rhythm of the drum beats into their hearts and puts them in a trance
    As he held her close they began to afloat where the gravity defies
    ^^ love is the closest thing to magic in this world : )

    Standing off the ground, heaven they have found, feeling high above
    visions of what they've painted spreaded out on a beautiful canvas
    The stars in sky are aligned; as they fulfill a promise of eternal love
    Butterfly wings take flight inside, leaving her so breathless
    ^^...aww...such an adorable ending ! perfect !

    the only thing i would suggest is may adding punctuation like . and , at the ends of lines it would just make it feel more complete
    other than that i wouldn't change anything...the way it was written was beautiful and makes me want the same thing! great job! 5/5 : )

  • 15 years ago

    by Anthony Duvalle

    Wow. This is a truly beautiful poem and is definitely going to be the first on my favorites list. I just love your use of words and imagery to create the emotion there. You could feel such a bond of love between these two characters and it was amazingly described. There is true beauty and love in these words. The only problem is "Moments of passion overcomes them taking them to a higher degree", overcome shouldn't have an s. But that's just a typo the poem was incredibly beautiful. A definite 5/5.

  • 15 years ago

    by Faithless

    I love writing it together with you too, kindda seems as if you read mind of how the poem was going to be like.The product of how our words intertwine with each other was nonetheless magical, wish to collab with you more in the future;)