Secret Love (collab)

Chimes blow in the wind playing a magical tune as they begin to dance

> how descriptive i found this ..so reminds me of special occasions i found this stanza the most unique..

Hypnotized by the music of their love, drunk from the love in his eyes
> WAw reallly this line blew me offff..completely

The rhythm of the drum beats into their hearts and puts them in a trance
As he held her close they began to afloat where the gravity defies

>> my goodness this poem is perfect..these 2 lines of this rd stanza i think is jjust mind-blowing...much work been done over this poem.

Seriously add to my fav poems, u did a gr8 jjob here..... i donu so much love
much sweetness..and a lot of imaginative inspiring images through the words u guyz made up..

brilliantly 5/5

Azza! I have to confess! this is one of the best love poems I have ever read in my life!....
I love the way you depicted everything they have and felt, the way you described they way they think, it's just love the way the poem is perfectly organized...
You have rocked me out in this poem lol!!!
Keep it up buddi!

I am being touch by yours magical words. You guys has the power to put our minds in dreamland where we're surrounded by the beauty of love. Very well done. Hugs for you two, kel.

They meet in the garden behind the castle at the stroke of midnight
Her heart begins to race as he takes her by the hand
His warm touch comforts her as she looks upon his face, against the light
Their love is truly forbidden as he came from a foreign land
^^aww so cute! i love hidden or secret romance i had one at one point and it was just heart racing : ) great opening it makes the reader smile

She gazes deep into her lover's eyes wishing for their love to last
Anticipating the moment he will come take her away with him forever
From the look in her eyes he knew that their love will soon combust
Taking her with him to sail through the storm across the border
^^ahh...adrenaline rushing running away together is both criminal and one of the most romantic things to a girl !! i like the vocabulary used ! its deeper than just "things" and "it"

Rose petals unfurl and fall to the ground surrounding them with beauty
Mesmerized by the magic and the scent of the rose she falls into his arms
Moments of passion overcomes them taking them to a higher degree
The warm night embraces the sweetness delight of the secret love charm
^^ah love in the air~so cute!! i like how you didn't describe it in the typical way you took your guys's unique touch to it

Chimes blow in the wind playing a magical tune as they begin to dance
Hypnotized by the music of their love, drunk from the love in his eyes
The rhythm of the drum beats into their hearts and puts them in a trance
As he held her close they began to afloat where the gravity defies
^^ love is the closest thing to magic in this world : )

Standing off the ground, heaven they have found, feeling high above
visions of what they've painted spreaded out on a beautiful canvas
The stars in sky are aligned; as they fulfill a promise of eternal love
Butterfly wings take flight inside, leaving her so breathless
^^...aww...such an adorable ending ! perfect !

the only thing i would suggest is may adding punctuation like . and , at the ends of lines it would just make it feel more complete
other than that i wouldn't change anything...the way it was written was beautiful and makes me want the same thing! great job! 5/5 : )

Wow. This is a truly beautiful poem and is definitely going to be the first on my favorites list. I just love your use of words and imagery to create the emotion there. You could feel such a bond of love between these two characters and it was amazingly described. There is true beauty and love in these words. The only problem is "Moments of passion overcomes them taking them to a higher degree", overcome shouldn't have an s. But that's just a typo the poem was incredibly beautiful. A definite 5/5.