Comments : Black Tree

  • 15 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    First, you spelled "threw" wrong in this piece, it should be spelled "through" from the way you used it.

    "Black Tree
    Scorched by lies
    Words with fire
    That scarred his trunk"

    Captivating words, these details are great!

    "Thin Branches
    Mingle threw each other
    Like thoughts confused
    Haunting his mind"

    Nice simile, this is keeping me reading.

    "Dried leaves
    Scattered on floor
    Like lost hopes
    Dead and meaningless"

    Another good simile, I love how you talk about the leaves of the tree, not just the tree, you really tell the reader all about him so I can visualize all this.

    "Crippled roots
    Searching deep threw soil
    Trying to find water
    Without knowing, it can't be found"

    Wow, I am loving this piece, I am just speechless.

    "Black Tree
    Your hope astounds me
    your force empowers me
    But your ignorance sickens me"

    I love how you write your thoughts on this black tree for the ending. 5/5 from me, a treasure to read upon. Take care!