I Never Meant To Cower.

"Forget the devils whispering
remember what we know
For, I can't live another day"

I absolutely love these lines, the picture and feeling I get, but I don't know if I like the last line, that is just me personally, I just feel like it could have been a little more....complex, for lack of a better word.

"They've set their goals and dreams
to hold me closely every night"

^^I think the flow is off here for me

I also enjoyed the way you ended it, all in all I think you did a nice job, it could just use a bit of touching up. Good work.

Honestly, If it wasn't written with such basic, predictable rhymes it would be flawless to me. I'm not such a big fan of rhyming poetry when the rhymes are typical, and here I felt like I could immediately say how the stanza will end when I read the second line of it.
For the example- The beginning [the first and the second line] are fantastic, really interesting for the opening, followed by the good third line, and than the effect of the whole stanza falls into the shadow of the weak fourth line.

Except that, the poem is really good. I like the message, you picked interesting topic to write about. Every stanza is deep in a way, and the whole poem contains quite touching and well expressed emotions.

This poem is phenomenal 5 just doesn’t seem like enough everything from the flow to the concept was flawless I usually like to try and identify something to improve on but I have to say in this piece I can find nothing.

I really loved this.. i think the last two stanzas were the best. They rang true to me and i really enjoyed reading them. It was a very..different poem. The flow was good and it really kept me hooked until the end. Very good write.. sorry i dont have much more to say than that.. but it was very well done.
5/5

"Speaking to my heart
I dream to feel your touch
Feeble minded worshippers
aren't around all that much"

^^ I adore these opening lines, so much depth and power within them that I'm instantly hooked.

However I don't think you need the "I" on the second line, it broke the flow for me a little with it being a filler, maybe "dreaming" instead?

"They've set their goals and dreams
to hold me closely every night
But none seem to compare
to the one who holds me right"

^^Favourite stanza so far. So much emotion in this stanza that's it's almost overwhelming, without becoming overbearing which isn't always easy to do.

"Forget the devils whispering
remember what we know
For, I can't live another day
without our love to show"

^^ I find this stanza to be incredibly moving and tugs on the reader's heartstrings, I'm finding that this piece gets better and better as I go along.

"Hidden from the deepest minds
I never meant to cower
but society has this hold on me
that's draining all my power "

^^ Again I don't think you need the "I" on the second line, it sounds better with:

"Hidden from the deepest minds
never meant to cower"

However, having said that, I frikken adore the closing lines, I find them to be hard hitting and powerful and certainly something that will stay with me.

I really liked the imagery you portrayed in this, and barring the couple things I mentioned the flow in this is just beautiful,

Elegantly written and a beautiful read.