I can not remmebr when is the last time i felt soo depressing and sad feelings from a poem

so beautifully craftred in pain and soorow and depression

great one my frined

Ths was really good.
Great work

Wow Azzza.. the depths of sadness in this poem are on a whole other level. Its amazing. I read it a few times just so i could really try and grasp the entire poem.

Unheard voices from my silent scream
^^ This is such a cleverly written line and it really stood out to me in the first stanza.

Insanity being pushed to the extreme
^^ this really made me feel the intensity of the poem.

Melancholy twist of euphoric surprise
^^ This was worded really well. Awesome work.

Sweet promises tangled in your lies
^^ Dont i know this feeling all too well. Again, great use of clever wording..

Life hanging on uncertain destiny
^^ Wow. This line just makes me speechless. i love that.. hanging on uncertain destiny.. wow.

This is a great poem. Im really glad i read it.
Thankyou for writing such an amazing poem.
5/5 for sure from me.

Always when I read poems I try to feel what the poem is feeling, and this one is so sad, but, still so describing, I can imagine how you feel, and the line that touched me was
"Sweet promises tangled in your lies"
it's like it always happens to me.
Great poem.Well done.
5/5

Azzza,

I loved the rhyming scheme in this poem.
You worded it really well, all that you feel inside.
Love can indeed push ou to the edge of insanity, I know from bitter experience.
Well, what doesn't kill you, will make you stronger..it is an old saying but so very true.
I am sure you will come out of this a stronger man.

Much love,

5/5 Ingrid

"Nightmare tickets couldn't be redeem"
[Nightmare tickets couldn't be redeemed]

"Debt mounting unable to pay the price"
[Debt mounting, unable to pay the price]
- Definitely use a comma there, darling. It's needed in a bad, bad way.

"If only you let me go then I'm complete"
[If only YOU'D let me go, then I'd be complete]
- Grammatically incorrect usage of words in your version, correct in mine.

You have definitely improved on your writing skills since the last time I read one of your pieces (which has been a few days, haha). I'm really impressed, Azzza. The poem is not only better grammatically but poetic wise. I really enjoyed this piece. Good job. (:

Wow I really liked your poem
keep up the good work

Oh Azzzaaaaa ^^
Oh my god I really don't know what to say..I'm actually speechless..this is nothing less than a masterpiece.
I see you've become a professional dark poems writer..this is scary lol !

Waking up to bitter taste of reality
Life hanging on uncertain destiny
Expired drugs provides no remedy
Angels unable to lift me from gravity

This stanza blew me away..I really don't know what to say..It was just perfectly worded, especially the last line strengthened it even more..Thank you for coming up with this !

If only you'd let me go, then I'd be complete

What a wonderful ending line...I find it just as blowing as the rest of the piece..
I just love this piece it made me feel like I'm reading one of TJ or Goth Marionette's dark poems..and I'm telling you their dark poems make me feel something I don't feel on other dark poems of people here..

Thank you for sharing this awesome piece and I'm glad I came to read it.
Write on :]

I could not make this better . The poem should withstand the harshest critics

very well done

Wow every line was so full of sadness and the vivid picture that was painted in my mind was one of myself. The depths of sadness is hard to reveal to everyone....whats behind the mirage....my life story. And there you have it in words that are so touching that it actually made me cry.

Azzza!
Ooh baby!
I can see why you won!
I loved this. I thought it showed a great concept of the title. It flowed flawlessly, and your rhymes were fantastic. 5/5

See? Now I can analyze easily. ^_^

"Trapped within your violent dreams
Unheard voices from my silent scream
Nightmare tickets couldn't be redeemed
Insanity being pushed to the extreme"
Okay, here we go, shall we? :]
Firstly, I absolutely LOVE all of the different context of this. I mean, the metaphors are simply beautiful. :] "Nightmare tickets couldn't be redeemed" That was just simply awesome. :]

"Melancholy twist of euphoric surprise
No souls listening to my hidden cries
Sweet promises tangled in your lies
Debt mounting, unable to pay the price"
This is slightly depressing.. :/ I like the negativity in this, but also.. i'm not absolutely sure what to call it. Realization, possibly? Or.. sad, hurt, understanding.

"Waking up to bitter taste of reality
Life hanging on uncertain destiny
Expired drugs provides no remedy
Angels unable to lift me from gravity"
I think "Provides" is supposed to be "provide" but i could be wrong. Ooh, here, are we talking about suicide? We better not be. -.-

"Tormented to the edge of the seat
Enslaved producing unwanted seed
Useless repetitions of endless plead
If only you'd let me go, then I'd be complete"
Very well done. ^_^ This is very sad, like being in a cage, stuck doing something you don't want to do, having no choice, its horrible.

Very sad. Depressing, but well done.
Now.. I could be completely wrong on how i saw this, but than again, everyone brain is different, we see things oddly sometimes ;)
5/5 all the way.

I loooove how this poem flows good job. fav so far 5/5

Waking up to bitter taste of reality

verynice

Once again, the title drew me in, and the poem impressed me.
You have a wonderful way with words. Great work.