Classic Cliche

by Teria   Jan 11, 2009


Further down the tangled hill, lies broken bodies dead inside
Tortured hearts slain within, solemn prisoners, bewildered cries
Dressed to kill, she walks the land figuring the life of a man
Minds can't confide in the eyes of devils, twisted with a plan
Milking off the only cause and effected by the notions
Following the soul of souls, troubled in magnetic motions
Behold the beholder of many mouths, denouncing oceans
For haven't you enough? The ruler of infancy has died!
Stronger than the middle class, she often sped away and ran
But has not the classic cliche had enough with promotions?

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The CinqTroisDecaLa Rhyme, a form created by Laura Lamarca, consisting of one 10-lined stanza.
The rhyme scheme for this form is AABBCCCABC and a syllable count of each line is 15.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    First off, I like the form. I've never heard of it but you promote it here excellently, and you inspired me to try to write one myself.
    I couldn't decipher every line, but I believe that the poem should be open for several interpretations, and this one certainly offers that.

    The choice of words is outstanding from the beginning to the end, along with the flow.
    What I liked the most is the vividness of the poem. In each line, you managed to paint such a memorable pictures.

    Well written, innovative and original from the beginning to the end.

  • 15 years ago

    by Adelle

    I don't know what to say about this poem if I’m being honest the flow was good the vocabulary was flawless but it just didn’t hold my attention even with how short it was. I really don't know I cantt seem to make a decision about this poem.

  • 15 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Interesting piece I must say, you actually brought it to life through your own unique words and originality. Well done with this, I can't say I have any suggestions to make this better.. I thought everything was well done poetic wise. Flow was flawless and word choice wasnt "blah" I actually enjoyed this piece very much. It wasn't cliche, it was original and I like to see that in poetry.

    Well done.
    5/5.

  • 15 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Well-expressed thoughts and this was a very wonderfully written poem. I have never heard of that form before, but thank you for explaining it below. I enjoyed reading this piece by you, it was unique and full of emotions. 5/5 from me, take care...Keep writing, always and forever....

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