Revved my engine.

by Teria   Jan 15, 2009


Your words belittled my heart,
your fears subsided in mine.
For once in my life I didn't fear,
the cost of that speed limit fine.

You've revved my engine up times four,
and scolded me right out the blackened door.

- - -

Please forgive my tears,
they're falling a bit too fast.
Searching for quite sometime now,
the secret to a hidden past.

You've revved my engine up times four,
and sent me away to come back for more.

- - -

Your mind resisting charm,
the kind I fling in front of you.
It seems I can't compare,
with the girls lined up without a clue.

You've revved my engine up times four,
and you've yet to see what I have in store.

- - -

Ignore irrational thoughts forthcoming,
they've lingered for days on end.
Longing for the touch of your hand,
the man I plead for more than a friend.

You've revved my engine up times four,
and broke me right down to the lonely core.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    First off, the whole metaphor is interesting, and I think that you did good job with the repetition, but the rhymes within repetitive lines are to simple for my personal taste, so that threw me off in a way.

    - Your words belittled my heart,
    your fears subsided in mine.
    For once in my life I didn't fear,
    the cost of that speed limit fine.-
    ^^^
    This is surely an interesting beginning, but the repetition of the world 'fear' bothered me. Maybe you can replace it in the second stanza with the word 'nightmares' or something similar.

    - Please forgive my tears,
    they're falling a bit too fast.
    Searching for quite sometime now,
    the secret to a hidden past.-
    ^^^
    I adore the simplicity of this stanza. It sounds like it's written straight from the heart, and it's deeply touching. Expressed emotions create superb atmosphere.

    - Your mind resisting charm,
    the kind I fling in front of you.
    It seems I can't compare,
    with the girls lined up without a clue.-
    ^^^
    I like this, till the last line, which isn't so poetic. [I don't want to offend you, this is just my personal opinion]. Maybe you can use some metaphor there, but I can't think of anything that fits right now.

    - Ignore irrational thoughts forthcoming,
    they've lingered for days on end.
    Longing for the touch of your hand,
    the man I plead for more than a friend.-
    ^^^
    Pretty good expression of thoughts. I especially love the first and the second line.

    All in all, in my opinion, this isn't your best work, but it's nice.

  • 15 years ago

    by Adelle

    I really like how unique this poem is you have written about something that has been written about so many times before and yet you made it your own this I love.

    The first stanza:

    Your words belittled my heart,
    your fears subsided in mine.
    For once in my life I didn't fear,
    the cost of that speed limit fine.

    I may have been thinking to literally but I thought you were actually talking about a car and a speeding ticket the third line introduced the love but the whole stanza seemed to focus on a light comedy. You then went to talk about intense love, I couldn’t make the jump easily, however I may have been reading it the wrong way and I give you a 5 on the basis that it was so unique.

  • 15 years ago

    by Nobodys Hero

    Ok first of all I really like the heading of your poem, I dont think Iv'e seen one quite like it in this section of poetry before ^^
    As for the poem it's self the rhyming was good and the flow was nice and easy to follow =] I also found that your chioce of wording throughout the poem added more depth and the emotion you put into the piece was nicely placed throughout.
    Overall really good job 5/5