A Good Day

by Marcus   Jan 16, 2009


*An extra credit assignment for school. Had to be like an alphabet starting every line with next letter in alphabet. It was supposed to be a story but I turned it into a poem/story.

A boy walks through a vacant alley
Big he is but not immense
Cop sirens roar in unison
Distant as present is to past tense

Everything appears so surreal
Fragile clouds disperse beneath his feet
Good things don't always happen
How you perceive things is what makes life sweet

Ice cold stares don't affect his mood
Jealous his peers must be
Kicking a can as he keeps on walkings
Laughing to himself, he enjoys his glee

Monologue keeps him entertained as he traips down the street
Nobody seems to notice he exists
Or maybe he doesn't notice them
Piercing the wind as he moves so swift

Quickly he forgets where he is
Reality has faded away
So when he sees the store he remembers
The destination he has to reach is only a block away

Using his heart to see makes life seem so much better
Vivid is how the world appears
Wondering what made his day so good
Xylophones play in his head that startle his hairs

Yes! he proclaims as he reaches the store
Zebra cakes are what his mom asked for

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Quietly Versed

    Well sir,

    I commented on one of your other poems having been "not original" or like other poems i have read, and now I am glad to be able to give you the other end of the spectrum. This unique piece is extremely powerful, and i love every descriptive detail except the last 3 lines....

    "Xylophones play in his head that startle his hairs" this line is very hard to read and takes away from the flow of the poem. It is awkward.

    "Yes! he proclaims as he reaches the store
    Zebra cakes are what his mom asked for "

    Ok.... I know you had to use a Z for class but this poem is powerful....until you read the last line. If you can't find something that starts with a Z that could give more meaning/life to the poem, then change and dont use a Z.

    The problem here is, not that the last line is "bad", but that the lines before it are so good the reader finishes the poem realizing that the climax was somewhere in the middle. You want the last line of the poem to be your knock out punch. Leave them with a desperate hungry taste in their mouth for more of your poetry.

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