The Grand Old Man Piano lullaby

by Quietly Versed   Jan 17, 2009


In the twilight of tranquility,
You may hear his tune,
As the stars shine bright struck by the moon.

The ghost of the piano,
Old Man Tolbert they call him by day,
The fireflies give light to his harmonious parade.

And the pond waters ripple,
As to soften the mood,
When the Phantom fingers his Ivory prelude.

The sky sprinkled night soft with dew,
Almost as the earth does cry,
To the Grand old man piano lullaby.

The wise trees give offerings,
The wind brings them to show,
Hallowed with crimson leaves lain in his shadow.

The moths upon his tattered suit,
Like dancers fly and flutter by,
With melodious alteration revel to become butterflies.

When all is silent you can hear the wail,
From the widower upon his rotted seat,
And the tapping of her headstone pedaled by his feet.

And if you seek the sound of life,
You can find it amid the summer night,
The Old Man, a baby grand, and the somber of his graveyard light.

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  • 8 years ago

    by Kurt

    Amazing.

  • 8 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    "In the twilight of tranquility,
    You may hear his tune,
    As the stars shine bright struck by the moon."

    ^^ I think it would flow better if you had this as

    In the twilight of tranquility you may hear his tune,
    As the stars shine bright struck by the moon.

    or

    In the twilight of tranquility,
    You may hear his tune,
    As the stars shine bright
    struck by the moon.

    "The ghost of the piano,
    Old Man Tolbert they call him by day,
    The fireflies give light to his harmonious parade"

    ^^ I love the imagery you portray in this verse, it creates such beautiful pictures in my mind.

    "And the pond waters ripple,
    As to soften the mood,
    When the Phantom fingers his Ivory prelude"

    ^^The only thing I didn't like about this was the fillers at the start, maybe try :

    pond waters ripple,
    As to soften the mood,
    When the Phantom fingers
    his Ivory prelude

    "The sky sprinkled night soft with dew,
    Almost as the earth does cry,
    To the Grand old man piano lullaby.

    The wise trees give offerings,
    The wind brings them to show,
    Hallowed with crimson leaves lain in his shadow.

    The moths upon his tattered suit,
    Like dancers fly and flutter by,
    With melodious alteration revel to become butterflies"

    ^^Favourite stanzas of the piece. The emotion and depth you manage to portray in these stanzas is incredible while the imagery keeps on getting better throughout.

    "When all is silent you can hear the wail,
    From the widower upon his rotted seat,
    And the tapping of her headstone pedaled by his feet.

    And if you seek the sound of life,
    You can find it amid the summer night,
    The Old Man, a baby grand, and the somber of his graveyard light"

    ^^What a beautiful way to end this moving piece! I find alot of poems to become weaker as they come to the closing lines but this is a beautiful way to wrap up such an elegant and pretty piece.

  • 8 years ago

    by AngelicDecadence

    Oh my..

    I.. this was .. oh my.

    This touched me, in a way not many others have, it's so .. It touched me.

    I'm a bit at a loss for words right now, the rhyme scheme was carried out flawlessly, .. and the meaning.. oddly enough made me cry. I haven't done that for years. I could picture the entire scene, either early morning or late night, the piano, it's fall i believe, when you spoke of him crying from the loss.. it reminded me of my own, if this has happened to you, I am truly empathetic. The descriptions captured the reader to the point that when the words ended, you were wishing to see more, more about how the story unfolded. It's beautiful and frustrating at the same time. I'm not sure.. is there a child? I believe so, but I could be mistaken. The last line makes me think so.

    This is just.. this left me breathless. there are no word to express all of the emotions captured in this. Just.. amazing.

  • 8 years ago

    by Nobodys Hero

    Loved it! I strongly enjoyed reading it, I found it a unique and very well penned write!
    You captivated me with your words and the flow made the poem easier and more enjoyable to follow 5/5

    I think your a talented writter ^^ Great work

  • 8 years ago

    by Annaam

    WOw... A very descriptive and strongly detailed poem. It's clear that u've worked hard on it. Great Work!

    Definite 5/5 !