Comments : A friend to the friendless

  • 15 years ago

    by Nobodys Hero

    I found this poem really interesting! I dont think iv'e seen a piece penned similar to this one before so really great job. The rhyming scheme was perfect and all of your stanzas maintained the flow perfectly =] I really liked this poem and it had me questioning certain things after I had finished reading it!

  • 15 years ago

    by Spirit

    Each friendship survives
    That touches many lives
    Do not the angels cry
    Tears of joy in the sky

    **favorite stanza

    this poem felt a little off, but for the life of me I can't figure it out. great job anyway it was a lovely poem/message to read

  • 15 years ago

    by Steven Topaz

    Original yet simple name very good attraction drawing,

    First stanza: Nice and simple just how i like it the first three stanzas are flawless, good ryhming, good flow, had me bobbing my head a little but then the last line is dead wood, it just feels tacked on, dont know what could be used to replace it tho

    Second Stanza:starting to make me think now, increased use of vocabulary, makes a readers eyes open up, but yet still extremely simplistic.
    flows a little choppy but it could just be the way im reading it or the form your writting in

    Third stanza:Unintended change in form, but i like it better,very peaceful stanza comparing the tears of angel to rain in a sense, Puncuation would help me read it the way you want me to, and the word "that" in line two broke the flow a little bit to me

    Fourth Stanza:Asking god is something that i use everynow and then, but how beauty always dies, this last stanza, the flow is perfect and flawless (again) then again most of your work is good, actually i was exspecting even more out of you, just honesty lol still very good poem,
    and all this was about friends makes it a rare one.

    5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    "A friend to the friendless
    Your memory is endless
    All your beauty is shared
    As if you really cared"

    ^^I really like these opening lines, I find them to be beautiful, but I didn't like the amount of fillers, maybe try something like

    Friend to the friendless
    Memories are endless
    All your beauty is shared
    As if you really cared

    "For it has been written
    By many masters smitten
    Beauty always gazes back
    None of it you shall lack"

    ^^ I like this, only I think it would go better if you had:

    None of it shall you lack

    "Each friendship survives
    That touches many lives
    Do not the angels cry
    Tears of joy in the sky"

    ^^Favourite stanza of the piece, I find this to be beautifully written.

    "As we on earth ask why
    Beauty must one day die
    Though we know God has sworn
    That we all must be reborn "

    I really like this closing stanza, I find it to be moving and bittersweet at the same time, and a beautiful way to wrap up this elegant and classy piece.