My Splintered Self

by cantchangeme   Jan 21, 2009


So this is the reason we fall today
The bullets rip our hearts down
Beyond the dark we call home
Hope shredded like the meat from our bones

Over the canon fire and deafening drones
The peace comes at last to their heart
The noose they used to hang your conscience
You use to hang yourself today

Silver blood bleeds from your eyes
And reminds us why we love the flag
The wood on your tree rots away
And reveals to us a beating heart

We cover the bark with your skin
In the hope that winter won't get in
And the heart beats within the roots
As your smile falls to the ground

Naked blind and beaten
No skin to protect your feelings today
The wings the angels gave you
Salted and torn away

Splinters underneath your fingernails
Meat carcasses drip blood on the floor
Though I'll never feel your touch again
Your memory leaves me sore

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Translated from dreams I've been having recently, about someone who affected me badly when I was 13. And the people who knew

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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by Faithless

    Wow this poem is totally blown me away.The imaginary is just so captivating.The choice of words that you used really bring the poem to life.

    Silver blood bleeds from your eyes
    And reminds us why we love the flag
    The wood on your tree rots away
    And reveals to us a beating heart

    ^^^ This is my favourite stanza. I like the way you describe tears.I find that you have a distinctive style of describing things.

    Overall I must say that this poem is a brilliant work which also comes a great flow

    5/5 from me

  • 8 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    I am impressed with the consistent free verse flow that does not sap the imagination to the extent of distraction. Thus I feel the pain and understand it better than words alone could describe unfinished love.
    5>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

  • 8 years ago

    by heartbrokengrl

    Very very well written poem, so much emotion in this poem, very beautifu

    of course 5/5!

  • 8 years ago

    by Spirit

    Naked blind and beaten
    No skin to protect your feelings today
    The wings the angels gave you
    Salted and torn away

    Splinters underneath your fingernails
    Meat carcasses drip blood on the floor
    Though I'll never feel your touch again
    Your memory leaves me sore
    **These were by far my favorite verses of this poem.

    The begaining was a little slow and it took me a while to get into it but I'll tell you this, your poems aren't bad/horrid/whatever you want to call them. You have a talent and don't ever let anybody tell you other wise.
    5/5
    good job

  • 8 years ago

    by Nobodys Hero

    Wow this is a very emotional piece and I found it very powerfull. Amazing job your wording portrayed your pain yet you wrote beautifully =]
    deff 5/5!