The flow in this poem is good. I enjoyed reading it. Favourite line definately 'A whirlwind of emotion led to an entangled soul
No sensible solution seemed to be in existence'

Your vocabulary is quite extensive and the words used in this poem were sometimes unexpected but fit entirely.
I love the mood of this poem and whoever you wrote about must be a lovely woman =o)

x

I like it... It's clearly visible that yOu've wOrked hard On it... I lOve the detail.... There is a goOd flOw and rhythm tO it.. And the vOcab is really goOd !

``Things that once brought me a mental pollution
Stress, pain, struggles, and heartbreak
Seemed to have no answer but she's the solution
She captured me with her love and I don't want to escape
--> The first 3 lines are perfect, but I'm nOt sO sure abOut the last One.. DOesn't really fit in with the rest, Or maybe it's me.

I still give it a 5/5! :)

Each line delivered passion and desire and the AB Scheme is a challenge you did well with

5>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Very Captivating! I began to read it and followed its wonderful flow. I love the wording and the style. Great Poem!! 5/5

Wow, what a great poem.

I like the rhyme style, with every other line rhyming. That is not very easy to write without straying from the meaning. Most people focus too much on the rhyming and the subject is overlooked.

Throughout the poem, you made great use of powerful adjectives to describe your lines. I really liked the "this thing called love" line. I like that it was sarcastic.

The entire poem was great, but the first line of the last sentance sounded funny to me. I think it would sound fine without using the word A in A MENTAL POLLUTION. The line is really awesome, but the A threw me off some.

Great job!

"Living in solitude with a vacant heart
Lacking any knowledge of this thing called love
Misery lingering as if it would never depart
Strange thoughts that my mind remained full of"

-The way you begin this is great! I mean the word choice is great, but the structure is beautiful,and the rhyming, was carefully thought out. This stanza hs already caught my attention

"A whirlwind of emotion led to an entangled soul
No sensible solution seemed to be in existence
Life was in a downward spiral out of control
And then appeared the one who made a difference"

-I like how you say the word solution again, as if reminding the reader what you are talking about

"Through tender love, affection, and genuine concern
With a flawless smile, heavenly complexion, and comprehending eyes
In possession of a gentle heart that I aspire to earn
She appeared in my life as a remarkable surprise"

-Beautiful stanza here. The description of the girl is perfect and gives imagery to the reader from your reyes, and how this girl is starting to change you.

"Capturing my heart like a thief in the midst of the night
Remaining undetected as she made a move on me so fleetly
She gently holds me, captivating me, showing me delight
I love her with all my heart, yet I do it discreetly"

-This stanza does a great job of showing me the developing relationship between the two of you

"Things that once brought me mental pollution
Stress, pain, struggles, and heartbreak
Seemed to have no answer but she's the solution
In the depth of my problems she altered my fate"

-I absolutely love the way you end this pem. You state the problems you had before and tie things up with the whole meaning of your poem.

This poem was an absolute delight to read. The rhyming smoothed easily. The structure was great. And the full circle tehnique was well used.
5/5

I think it's awesome that you chose to try a different style , that's really brave of you . And you did a really good job on top of that ! The rhymes are really good , and the message is clear .. A little work to be done on the flow though .

I really like this poem it's beautifully written! Really great job =]
The flow works really well and the rhyming was consistant. I also thought your choice of wording added more depth.

I loved it!!! The writing style is amazing and I loved all of your discriptive words. Also, awesome job at displaying your emotion. Great job!

Brilliant poem, Loved the deep meaning to it and it was written beautifully. With an outstanding word choice and good rhyming style.

Really enjoyed reading it

5

I can't get over how brilliant all of your poems are! Especially this one! I felt the emotions buried with each word. Fantastic job! It was beautiful!