I love this line. Sometimes I wish I had the strength to say this. When I finally do, the strings are finally cut loose. This was an amazing poem. I was going through my favorite authors and I just wanted to remind you that you are a fantastic poet :P
This poem is really good . I like the imagery , like the scent of mistrust .. I really thought that was creative . Um , one thing to be careful about is where you change lines , because people automatically take pauses when a line end . After you , in the second stanza , as well as after not in the last one are where those pauses really shouldn't be . 5/5
I've seen the title of this poem a few times before on a few other poets profiles, I like it, although to me when you create your own titles they are more creative in my opinion. None the less hope all goes well in the contest you entered with this piece.
I liked the length, it was short and yet it said so much, again the mix of wording intrigues me like always. I liked the emotion within this poem, in a way I find myself relating to this, only at certain times though and for some reason this piece really played with my heart strings and brought out some emotion which has been hidden for awhile. Thank you.
"Addictive, the sound of cyan voice;
almost mythical, the way you
portray the sentences with monsters;"
I adored the lines above, I felt as though the metaphor within this was interesting. Like I said before I can relate to this simply because to me beautiful people have different sides to them, a side where they dance in the shadows with the monsters.
"Life must go on,
but you're not
my hero anymore. "
I loved the simplicity of the three lines above, they were elegant and so emotional. I've been writing simple lately, just because my emotions seem to be on over drive and I really like how you have been using a simple effect not only to draw in your usual audience but also readers who might not understand the complex wording of which your vocab is strung to.
Overall this was a beautiful piece. Well done. -Mel