WOW Sasha I really like how you craft this poem.

A soft breeze blows a strand of hair upon your cheek
The look of amusement in your eyes renders me weak
Please tell me what I did to make you hurt me this way
The sun disappears behind grey clouds darkening my day

^^^You have a very good opening to the poem. Allowing the readers to see the protagonist as being weak and at the same time confused to be a victim of an abusive relationship.Not only that, your last line enhances the feeling of sadness

Hatred is a feeling that cannot easily be described
Adrenaline pumps through my veins refusing to subside
It's the calm before the storm and then the hurricane
The realization of knowing you gave your heart in vain

^^^This stanza is amazing I like your imagination and the usage of metaphors to describe how your enmity and regret.Excellent job

The rush that keeps me going until I forget your name
I give my solemn swear to one day beat you at this game
Let the rain fall upon me, let me drown in broken trust
Let the lighting strike me down and turn my love to dust

^^^A brilliant stanza to end this poem. I can feel the long endurance tt you have endured till you're just sick of it. Pledging yourself to be strong and not letting yourself be a victim of his game.No longer do you believe his trust, you would willingly end the relationship

Overall you have written a very powerful poem with the usage of strong metaphors which brings the the message clearly.Not only that, the poem also has a great flow and the rhyme.This poem just shows how talented you are as a poet. I'm so proud of the poet that you have become.Keep it up

Totally Brilliant Job
5/5

Wow Sasha i think this is my favourite poem that i have ever read from you.
It was incredibly sad and heart breaking but the way you penned it was truly amazing.
The title lured me in, i thought it was very interesting and made me curious as to what the poem would be. Let me tell you, the poem itself definitely did not disappoint.
The wording was immaculate and the whole poem stood out to me as being completely flawless. A perfect poem.
I dont even know what to say, except that it was a brilliant piece. My favourite from you so far, definitely. Wow.
5/5

It is known after a ll this time adn between love and hate in the lvoe game there is a little hair. no one know the difrence , and sometimes, we want jsut to throw our love ones from a cliff from much we hate them , and then rush to the bottom to catch them so they dont get hurt .

love is a dangerous thing to have . we alwasy blame love for not giving us what we want or for hurting us. actualy there is 1 love feeling but in the hands of not true lovers , it become a disaster and hurt you both.

i beleve in this life there is pepole made to be together. and there is pepole that lose there chances ..

seeing the day dark , or sad, thinking of suicide is just the path you need to fall in it to the depest part of the valey , before you get up again and rise over these hurts and hold your scar soo everytime you look at it , you know what happen....

you are not the only one nor the last one dear to face this feelings , we have all specialy me , i walked that path more then 10 times,... soo , i know the feeling by heart..

courage and om me anytime you need to talk about it ..

the poem was short. and very smooth to read and understand . you have my vote

5/5

"Hatred is a feeling that cannot easily be described
Adrenaline pumps through my veins refusing to subsideIt's the calm before the storm and then the hurricane
The realization of knowing you gave your heart in vain"

^^ here you have wonderfully described how hate is felt... the frustration of being betrayed... the anger... the anguish ...
well written...

"Please tell me what I did to make you hurt me this way
The sun disappears behind grey clouds darkening my day"

^^ I felt both the lines are portraying the same feeling... the imagery is beautiful... the last line itself is enough to explain ...

"Let the rain fall upon me, let me drown in broken trust
Let the lighting strike me down and turn my love to dust "

^^ beautiful lines though very heartfelt ... love the imagery ...

Sasha..
I loved your wording here..it was so simple with very meaningful lines.
I really liked the simplicity in this piece..and the broken heart you portrayed here, it was just so amazing.
When reading a poem like this I come to think that every man or woman who broke his/her partner's heart is just worthless and writing poems for him/her would be such a waste of time to the poet..Because you're awesome, you should know that anyone who breaks your heart doesn't need any poems written about this.

Hatred is a feeling that cannot easily be described
Adrenaline pumps through my veins refusing to subside
It's the calm before the storm and then the hurricane
The realization of knowing you gave your heart in vain

This stanza was such a lovely read, I so much liked the last two lines, very expressive.
Sasha you did a great job on this poem.
I want you to try using new words, your vocab is simple..just try to strengthen your poems with new wording.

Loved that
Write on hunnie
xx

OMG Sasha...It a wonderful piece and really touching...But,you know there are many people in this world don't understand the meaning of love and sacrifice that show them coz they are poeple with cold hearts...so sis you should be storng to get over this and am sure that Allah will lead you to happiness and true love soon.Inshallah...

excellent sis..5\5...sorry my comment came so late...

Wow, this was a wonderfully written poem, the words were so powerful and just every word just sucked me in and made me want to read it more.

Wonderful work