Numb To Your Touch

'Your number is on my cell again
The shrilling ring piercing the night
But I don't have the strength required
To win yet another fight'

Most of your poetry is quite lyrical and song like. The rhyme and flow appears like verse instead of stanzas. The second line was great. Use of 'pierced' was nice.

'So I'll roll over in my bed
Try not to think about what went wrong
Numb to your touch, numb to your mind
Numb to knowing we no longer belong'

I know you wrote this for Bliss's contest, and I find it hard to write for a title. I found the flow here was awesome, it's simple to follow yet still remains somewhat poetic.

'You're calling to beg again,
I know that in my mind
But I don't want to face the truth
That I can never again call you mine'

I didn't understand this bit - the male persona is calling to beg, yet its obvious from the last line that he doesn't have the same feelings? Just didn't make sense to me.

'So I left you wondering
About what we were together
Not lovers anymore
Because my numbness lasts forever'

I like this stanza, it was quite sweet, but I find it hard to pick out pits from these kinds of poems as it's the same sort of message throughout, all I can say about this piece is that I liked it, and it had a nice, consistent flow.