Looking For A Lost Cause

by Krista   Mar 12, 2009


Lights waver in the madness,
hustle and bustle of daily life.
Faces blur past on sidewalks,
faster than a speeding bullet.
Lost in all the craziness,
searching in the growing mob,
trying to find your face,
having no success in my trials.

-This was written for a contest where it had to be 50 words or less.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by The Prince

    It's seeing so many poems from a writer who has potential is good in a way, but what you have then is never anything spectacular, just a lot of good poems. Focus your time and energy on one piece instead of juggling ideas.

    This would be nicer much much longer. It has potential but it feels somewhat rushed in the long run.

    'Faces blur past on sidewalks,
    faster than a speeding bullet'

    These lines are confused too, as you used plural 'faces' then singular article 'bullet' which is not plural which doesnt get the image across that you want it to.

    You are a good writer, it's just...don't post post post post because you feel you have to.

  • 15 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    "Lights waver in the madness,
    hustle and bustle of daily life."
    `I liked the internal rhyme in this line, to begin a poem like this is great.. and I dont see internal rhyming done very often, but its nice when you see it..

    Youve painted a vivid image in my mind, a busy street, everyone going their ways.. people passing on sidewalks, youre in this big mob of people looking for this one person, but unfortunetly you cannot find them no matter how hard you try.

    I understand this piece, and youve painted a good image in my mind.. but I feel like there needs to a ending.. because there isnt.

    Either, you could take it in the direction that you find this person after searching for however long.. and what happens after that you could describe too..

    OR maybe saying that you search for hours on end, but you still dont find them. What emotions and what feelings run through your mind?

    Come up with a good ending and add to this poem, I know you can do it.

    4/5.