I'm Not What You'd Call Okay

The graph of life goes with highs and lows.We all grow by the painful experiences of our life.Remember my dear everything happens for a reason.
The best part of your work shows you are positive.Be brave.God bless.

Krista,

You are doing just that, although you may not realize that you are.
By writing your feelings down as sharing it with the world you are making a statement.
Once we find the courage to show ourselves and dare to share our sorrows and pains a door opens up. An aswer will come and also a way out of this. You are not broken and all that happens to you, happens for a reason. One day you will think back upon my words and realize I was right.
The people who cause you to feel this way are meant to be in your life. We grow from all experiences, dear girl. The hurt and the pain you are experiencing will enable you to break through certain barrieres and eventually make you realize you are a strong and beautiful human being. They will make you aware of all you are NOT and this will make you more aware of who you really are:)
Hang on in there, sweet thang. There is light at the end of the tunnel;)

*hugs*

5/5 Ingrid

I guess what I meant when I said "I'm sorry",
I'm just coming up with an excuse for my existance.
Knowing it's not my fault that I'm stuck on Earth,
my life just as messed up as a broken story.
-I'm not sure that I understand the first line, but the rest is a good way to begin a poem, something open.

Your put downs and complaints need to end.
I'm miserable, but I'll continue to smile.
Rocking myself to sleep among relentless tears,
whispering that tomorrow might shine brighter.
-progressing, getting ot the point...good

Though I'm finished with my ranting and raving,
I finally realized my lack of self confidence.
No wonder I let you beat me down senseless,
my legs won't support my weakened body.
-now you're summing it up. with a "final kick", if you will

I just need to stand up for myself.
-now for the great ending, everybody needs to do this.

over all I liked how it had three parts, you moved through them very well with great flow.

I feel like this poem has more than one scenario behind it. It's not constant and it's not metaphorical enough to carry more than one meaning, whether that's a controlling relationship with a partner or parent.
I don't feel like it's been phrased in a way that surprises me or makes me want to come back for more. It's a pretty typical teenage angst poem, in all honesty.
I don't want to be rude and I apologise if this comes across that way.
Sometimes poems can work by being simply described but this feels recycled and overthought, in my opinion at least.
You seem to have the inspiration, so keep at it.

L.

It's well written, but I have a few things to say about this.

To me, your first stanza sounded very immature and childish -- and it was strange, because you were speaking precisely about not being that. This is why writers, poets especially, must pay special attention to wording. Words such as just, excuse, guess, stuck, well, they're the kind of words a kid would use when writing. I understand that you're only speaking humbly and frankly, but it doesn't seem that way. There are readers who will choose sympathy over critism, but I honestly think it will sound and look better if you replaced some of the words. [Stuck] for example, can be replaced by something as simple as [trapped]. This shows that you have a vocabulary range of an older-than-five-year-old.

There are good lines in this poem, it was just the first stanza I had a problem with. My fav lines:
"my life just as messed up as a broken story."
"I'll continue to smile"
"whispering that tomorrow might shine brighter."

To me, the single-lined ending was weak, but if you feel that it's right, please don't change it. Things like that isn't for the reader to decide.