Comments : Monotony

  • 15 years ago

    by Faithless

    Well 1st of all i would like to say that I love the title

    Bright rays of sunlight enter a darkened room,
    awakening the for another pointless time expanse.

    ^^^ Nice opening here I can visualize how the
    sun rise illuminate the room.Well i feel/think
    that u missed out some words after the word 'the'
    in the 2nd line

    Searching through each day for a sign,
    a sign that there is a point to this endless insanity.

    ^^^Nicely phrase...I can relate wht you're trying to say
    in this stanza; while things can drives us crazy sometimes,
    we need to some thing or look for a sign to keep us sane

    Monotonous rituals of life drag down on reason,
    escape proves out of the question.

    ^^^I like how you describe mundane life as monotonous,
    it seems like though it is a boring life, but as weird
    as it may seem it just makes sense when you live it,
    making escape from this life, not an option

    The end of the day nears, only to prove no lesson is learnt,
    maybe tomorrow will bring closure.

    ^^^Well as stated on the stanza before this, we live this
    boring life, with no new things happening in our life, which
    makes us live our life in circles with no lesson to be learnt.
    We then usually look forward to tomorrow hoping that it
    will be better than today

    The point? To find one's self.

    ^^^ I like how you end this. You shoot straight right to the
    point. We should not change the way things are, we should change
    ourself and how we do things and how we want live our life.

    Overall, i like how you placed your thoughts in this poem and
    how you explored the working title. This is something refreshing
    from your other poems. But it was certainly a delightful to read

    Excellent Job Mate
    5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Ingrid

    Cara,

    You have captured something very significant here.
    People need to feel this first: to be completely empty..because then they start to wonder and really think...and often end up finding a deeper meaning and themselves as well in the process:)

    Good job, sweet girl. A delight to read on a sunny Sunday morning!

    *hugs*

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 15 years ago

    by Sylvia

    Monotony is one of those things that ruin days in our lives. Having the same routine day after day can cause us to reach the point of insanity. If we just change one thing and learn something as you wrote, then we can break the monotonous rituals that drag us down. You have done a wonderful job with this write. 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by The Prince

    Everyone's changing and experimenting! It's great!

    This poem was easy to read due to the communicative language and simple lexis used. I have some suggestions that you might take on board? This is just my opinion, you can keep it how it is just.

    The repetition of 'pointless' then 'point' just seems a bit dull, you could freshen the language up, also the affix 'less' doesn't need to be used twice. Try and approach the matter with different angles. The third and fourth are perhaps better for this. I liked the last line. It was abrupt and it didn't change tone.
    Well done for attempting something new here though, I really admire that in you. The title was great too, just gave us an idea of what was to be expected. Not going to dissect this or critic it, I just think you've excelled. :)

  • 14 years ago

    by Rodney Kirby

    I READ THIS SEVERAL TIMES, I LOVE IT, VERY GOOD PERSPECTIVE, ON A HOW DAYS GO BY

  • 14 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    Unique and written nicely. A subject everyone can relate to at some point in their life.
    Very impressive read