along forked paths
only we can choose
which road will carry us
through temptation and darkness
our Lord shall guide those who believe
death need not be feared but understood
Heaven awaits those who learn, love, obey
The poetry form, Etheree, consists of 10 lines of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 syllables. Etheree can
also be reversed and written 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
"Heaven awaits those who learn, love, obey"
This just sums it all up.
I really admire how you chose this poem in particular to be in an etheree; for some reason I thought that it was just appropriate and relevant. I felt that birth is so insignificant in comparison to the "journey walked" and most importantly what is expected of us and where we end up eventually.
I've told you before how much I adore ethree's and this one didn't disapoint me what so ever. I loved how you combined a poem that has alot of inspirational truths and wisdom into a style such as this one.
"along forked paths"
You know when I read the line above, to me it reminded me of Robert Frosts poem "A road not taken" simply because you talk about divided passages you can travel within life and I liked that meaning. It is an effective one. Although as I read on I realized that the topic you are writing about is much more wider. You expand by making it somewhat of a religous piece by mentioning heaven because if you have a belief of heaven you obviously have a belief of religon.
I loved the fact you mentioned temptation, we in life are always tempted by certain things that try and drag us in the wrong direction, this piece to me could also symbolise Heaven and Hell. Two seperate paths altough we must choose to travel one. Good or bad. I liked the the use of juxtaposition, very clever.
The syllable count seems to be spot on to me and I must mention I liked your choice in words. Simple yet so effective. They really grasped my attention as they held such wisdom and beauty.
"death need not be feared but understood"
By far my favorite line as I actually thing that myself. So many people fear death, and it is common, but it shouldn't be. As something beautiful awaits you in the future.
`I like the beginning, youve started the poem out at the beginning of someones life, their birth.
"along forked paths
only we can choose
which road will carry us"
`Your words spoke so much truth, you are so right about how there are different paths for each individual to go down but we are the one who chooses which one we will go down in our life.
"through temptation and darkness
our Lord shall guide those who believe"
`You are absolutely right here again, our lord will guide us through the darkness to the correct place, in the right direction.
"death need not be feared but understood
Heaven awaits those who learn, love, obey"
`I love how this poem was set up, you wrote it from birth to death.. really interesting.
Well done on this poem, Ive been wanting to read it for a long time..and am happy I finally was able to!