Comments : Feeling Beautiful

  • 15 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Hahah this was really cute. :] I think we all want to look beautiful for that one person and sometimes it just makes us soo happy when they smile at you.. it makes us actually feel beautiful and great within.

    This was adorable, youve penned this piece nicely!

    5/5.

  • 15 years ago

    by The Prince

    You have a thing for repetition don't you?

    'I put on those tan pants that sit snuggly -
    Hugging every curve.'

    I liked this, the idea of 'hugging' was quite nice.

    'And I slipped into the black silk button-up -
    The one that makes me look slimmer, somehow.'

    Haha, I'm sure everyone has clothes that excentuates their figure.

    I like the tones you have in your poems, they're very human and it's hard to do - well done.

    'I put on eye shadow - gray and silver and the palest blue imaginable.'

    Overly long line, I'd suggest cutting it down because it sticks out like a sore thumb haha.

    'I blended them together.'

    You don't need this line because you obviously blended them togeher. See above line.

    'I wanted to feel beautiful today.
    So -
    I said 'good morning' to you.'

    The repetition doesn't work here; it's the equivalent of saying 'I wanted to feel confident today so I put lip gloss on'...it doesn't...quite make sense.

    I didn't actually like the third stanza much as it was rather shallow, I mean, I'd have liked it if the persona was to go through their everyday routines; like walking down a street and people look at her; not some attempt at portraying some sort of high-school soap, with an unrealistic outcome - your character suddenly becomes confident because she looks different, and it just sounds like 'I can't get the boy to look at me because I haven't got make up', I know you weren't trying to say that but it comes across immature and a bit cringeworthy.

  • 15 years ago

    by Lisa

    Nice poem, I've been there before. You know when you wake one morning and decide you want to do something different with your look...good work:)